


It Drove A Man To Tears

by 8311



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Background Ashe/Mercedes, Background Felix/Sylvain, Background Hapi/Linhardt, Background Hilda/Claude, Background Manuela/Hanneman, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd Needs a Hug, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female My Unit | Byleth, Feral Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Making Out, Mentioned Blue Lions Students (Fire Emblem), My Unit | Byleth Has Emotions, Oral Sex, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sad Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Slow Burn, Smut, Vaginal Sex, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:07:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 41,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28890336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8311/pseuds/8311
Summary: A retelling of post-timeskip Azure Moon, featuring a Dimileth perspective.Lots of angst, fluff,  shenanigans, and a little smut as Byleth and Dimitri navigate the war together, first at each other's necks, then hand-in-hand.“I’ve been keeping watch, too.” She had laid her sword in front of her on a soft cloth. Freshly polished, it reflected the moonlight onto her face. Her eyes were sharp and alert, the curve of her mouth slightly downturned, her nose flaring. Yet, despite the harshness of her expression, her features were soft.“Why did you not wake me?” his growl was accusatory.“You needed the sleep, Dimitri.” She was stern, the professor taking over from the warrior.“I do not deserve to rest until Edelgard’s head lies at my feet.” He muttered, the loathing in his voice unmistakable.“I said nothing about rest. I am not foolish enough to believe that your mindrests, even in sleep.”She did not tell the truth that she heard him desperately whispering her name in his sleep.Save me, Byleth. Byleth. Where are you?
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 51
Kudos: 198





	1. Chapter 1

When Byleth had found Dimitri in the ruins of Garrech Mach, he was unrecognizable. A shell of his former self, a rabid, hate-filled husk of a man, he had treated her like a nightmare. An unwanted apparition, he had swiped at her, fighting back at his perception until she had held him down, soothing him. 

“Dimitri. It’s me…it’s me. I’m here. I’m back. Dimitri…everything…I promise…it will be okay.”

He stepped back from her, accepting that his mind, for once, had not been playing tricks on him - but still, regardless of if _she_ was back, he had necks to sink his claws into. Weeks had passed since their reunion, and Byleth had taken her rightful place as his adviser and mentor - though, as the loathed fragments of his past self had reminded him, once, to him, she was even more than that. 

Not that it even mattered anymore. Someone who was like him, barely a shell of a real man, had no need for human relationships, for friendship, for _love_ \- all he could truly trust his former self on was the knowledge that she was an invaluable tool, integral to his mission. Once, he told her that he would kill anyone for her, should she ask it of him. Now…if she wasn’t able to do the same for him…he had no use for her. No matter what was in the past. 

From the first time she had looked into his crazed eyes, Byleth saw nothing but a shadow of the man she once knew. The one who had appeared in front of her, crazed and full of bloodlust, he was all that was left of _her_ Dimitri. 

“What do you hope to gain, asking me that? There are more important matters at hand.” He snapped at her, insisting on the death of the “rats” who thieved the monastery for their own survival. It didn’t matter, it wasn’t even a _factor_ if he would become what he hated. All that mattered was that those who deserved death, found it at his hands. That there were no more Dedues, Glenns, Lamberts, for anyone to avenge in this world. 

As the former members of the Blue Lions had returned, Dimitri found himself drawing away further. How _dare_ they claim to understand, to care, to _remember_? He pulled away, brooding in the chapel, or his room, or the dining hall, or the cemetery - anywhere that anyone else wouldn’t be. 

For better or for worse, Byleth let him be. Ingrid, Sylvain, Felix - they all tried their hands at talking to him, and he made sure he drove them away as far as he could. He rid himself of all the love he had in his heart for them, and sent them away from him with warning shots, strengthening the impenetrable fortress he had built for himself. And it _infuriated_ him that she let him be. He wanted to drive her away too. He wanted to see her fall back at his words, flinch at his cruelty. Then, he knew, he could finally rid himself of all the chains of his past. 

_I am not a prince, but a walking corpse._

Each time he reminded himself of this, he clenched his fists, digging his nails into his flesh, drawing blood from his palms. No matter how insistently those around him told him they were simply there to help him, to serve him, to reclaim his place as the true king - none of them understood the pain of losing the one who was closest to them. _Dedue…I will avenge you. Even if it kills me. Because if it kills me, I will finally be with you again._

He told himself what he was. What he deserved. What he needed to do. But yet…

He and Byleth played a dangerous game. 

She would spend 12 hours a day coaching the others masterfully, making sure they were still the soldiers they had promised to be. At the end of a long day, she would somehow still head to the training grounds. She would decimate the dummies in front of her, with arrows, swords, axes, lances, magic - nothing was safe from the energy she was channeling. There was something within her that he could not place - she was as destructive as he was, but far more controlled, far more thoughtful, far more…human. 

Every day, they would gather as a group, Gilbert, Seteth, Alois, Catherine, Shamir, the Blue Lions. Byleth would stand at his side, facing the others, as if they were still a duo, regardless of if he had slashed at her with his words the day before. Dutifully, she would arrive to his quarters every evening with a report, a summary of what she had heard about the war that day - not just the Kingdom, the Empire, and the Alliance, but each and every head in the monastery. Without emotion, she took the abuse he flung at her, his insistence that she shut up, tbat she leave him alone, that she let him deal with matters himself. No matter how much he tried to hurt her, she watched him, eyes keen as ever. Protective as ever. 

And each time he went to bed, he remembered some of the most beautiful memories of his life, and hated himself for it. 

_It was the night they had saved Flayn. He remembered that it was the first evening that he had truly seen her smile. He had commented to her, freely, how much it had meant to him. Inside, he burnt with the knowledge of her beauty._

_He insisted on walking her back to her room in the dormitory, courage filling his veins. He wasn’t a monster back then. He was nervous. Sweet. She asked him if he was alright, if he needed to talk, if he would like her to make him a cup of tea. He nodded. He wanted nothing more than just another moment with her._

_She poured the tea in his cup, and asked him if he was okay. If he needed to talk about what happened today. He couldn’t believe it. This woman, only his age, had gone head-to-head with the Death Knight himself. She had fought, scared that a young girl she cared about was slain. And still, she worried about him, fretted, made him a cup of tea. Looked at him with eyes that welled with tears._

_That was the first time that he realized he had gone mad for a woman._

He shut his eyes, scratching at his own forearms, hoping he would make himself bleed. He didn’t deserve these thoughts. Or maybe he did, maybe he deserved to torture himself with love lost. Anything that would take him farther from humanity, and closer to the monster he knew he was. 

It didn’t work anymore, reminding himself that she was dead. She wasn’t dead. She had come back. She stood by him. He screamed into the night, punched the stone walls again, and again, and again. It was almost easier when she was dead, too. He could avenge her. He could do right by her as a monster. But, now that she was back with him, that she _insisted_ on being by his side, he didn’t know how to do right by her as a human. 

Knuckles bleeding, he would doze off. It was lucky if he even got two hours a night. Yet, the same dream haunted him.

_He had taken a breath of fresh air from the ball, it was exhausting having danced with every woman in sight, noble and common, yet, none of them the woman he truly wanted to have spun in his arms._

_Up in the Goddess Tower, he hoped to find refuge, maybe even melancholy imaginings in spotting a young couple kissing under the arch. Instead, he found her. She stood there, moonlight illuminating her eyes, her body, her lips. Summoning the courage that only a boy could, he asked her if she would make a wish. She told him she would, after he made his own._

_He wished that no one would be unjustly taken, anymore. She promised him that she would wish for the same._

_In his heart of hearts, he knew he had made the wish for her. That she would never be taken away from him._

_Somehow, a second burst of courage drove him to speak again. He asked, maybe, if he should wish that they would be together forever. Oh…and that he was joking._

_The way her eyes lit up. But then the way she flushed, pretending she had nothing to say._

_He reminded himself that he may not even have a future he could promise to someone._

_As they stood silently together, he willed his frozen body to take her hand into his, to place his lips upon hers._

_Yet, he could not do it._

_It had driven a boy crazy._

_It drove a man to tears._

\- - - 

She told him that she missed the Dimitri she once knew. 

He had killed the part of him that cared. 

“The Dimitri you once knew is dead.” He spat. “All that remains is the repulsive, blood-stained monster you see before you.” He bit into his own cheeks, drawing blood. The look in her eyes made him want to hurt himself. “If you do not approve of what I have become, then kill me.” His voice was threatening, but his heart begged her to follow through. 

She stood, her eyes gazing through him. Kind. Patient. 

“If you insist that you cannot,” he scowled, “then I will continue to use you and your friends until the flesh falls from your bones.” He felt the vitriol in his voice, hoping it would poison his soul the way he pretended it had. Instead, it filled with the stabbings of guilt, as he saw the sorrow in her eyes. 

He wanted to take her into his arms, the way she had taken him into hers when she had found him, broken, weeks ago. 

Instead he turned away, coldly.

\- - - 

Every time his war council met, he insisted on the path that would take them the closest to killing Edelgard. None of them agreed with his view that they should take to the Emperor before saving the people of Faerghus. They all told him. They trusted him with their thoughts. But to him, it didn’t matter what they said. This was a ridiculous formality. They knew he was the king. They listened to him. 

Even after Ailell, after Rodrigue’s pleas, he did not listen.

He had souls to avenge. Apparitions to placate. His body roared with fury, his heart single-minded. He knew what the dead wanted. What the dead told him to do.

Avenge them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess you can find me @ preetsposting


	2. Dimitri the Boar and Dimitri the Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter takes place before, during, and after the battle at the Bridge of Myrddin.**
> 
> _He did not remember what it felt like, when he wrote in his journal that he had fallen in love. There was still muscle memory, though, when he looked at her. She sat cross-legged, away from him, her chin resting on her hand and her hair cascading down her back. He did not mean to watch her, but even she was a reminder of why he deserved to suffer the way he did. He had let her down, too._
> 
> _She turned to him. Maybe, in another life, a smile would have played across her lips. He would have reached his hand out to her, pulling her closer to him, and they would sit side-by-side, talking through the night as they kept watch. But in this life, she stared somberly before turning her gaze back into the night. In the darkness, he was not sure if he had truly seen tears fall from her eyes. After all, as she had reminded him, he saw things where there were none._
> 
> _All the same, a knife twisted itself in his gut._

The group marched towards their next battle, Dimitri far in the lead. What did he care that the others spoke in hushed tones when his back was turned, that they pitied him, that they thought he had changed? This was who he always had been. There was another Dimitri, once. But this Dimitri, too, had lived with him, side-by-side. It rang true, every time throughout the years that Felix spat at him, calling him _Boar_. 

There was Dimitri the prince, then there was Dimitri the boar. They could not have co-existed forever. When The Flame Emperor had removed her mask, revealing Edelgard, Dimitri the boar had made fine work of Dimitri the prince, goring him in the heart. And such, this was the Dimitri that remained. 

It was inevitable. The voices of those fallen rang louder, day-by-day. He felt constantly watched, tortured by their cries, not resolute in his senses, but only in his will to destroy Edelgard’s world. The way she had destroyed his. He spoke to Glenn, sharp mutters under his own breath, posing the question he had posed to Byleth not long before they had left. 

_What would you do, if you saw the people who stole everything from you? If you saw them right before your eyes, living carefree lives and feeling no guilt. Would you feel nothing? Do nothing?”_

“Glenn. They must burn for what they have done for you. If they can suffer just a portion, just a bite of what I have felt every single day since you left me, I want to be the one to cause it.” He growled in anger, placing a palm to his missing eye. “I am doing this for you, Glenn. For you, Father. Dedue, for you. They will not take anyone else from the world the way they took you. I do not care if I am no better than them. This is the only way I can make things right.” He knew his duty. The voices were his reminder. Yet, why did it feel like he was trying to convince himself of something?

He remembered Byleth’s answer to his question. How she insisted she did not feel the same way as him. It bothered him. How could anyone watch those they loved most, torn away in front of their eyes, and not become intent on seeking revenge? To right the wrongs in the world? He curled his hands into tight fists.

Felix’s interruption rang in his head. _There’s nothing to be gained from exchanging words with a boar that has lost its mind._

Everyone else had lost their minds. An unfathomable feeling had risen in his chest when Felix and Byleth had agreed in front of him that holding onto their anger for those lost was pointless. If that was the case, how did they live? What did they live for? What did they fight for? No. They must not understand. They must not realize that they were all the same. 

\- - -

They stopped for camp just short of the Bridge of Myrddin. The others gathered around the fire, chatting quietly, roasting meat over the flames and setting up tents. Dimitri gruffly rebuffed Ashe as he offered him a cut of meat, and walked to the edge of the clearing they had set up in, stating that he would take watch tonight. 

They knew better than to argue with him about inane nonsense like shifts or turns. They knew by this point that he did not sleep. The voices in his head were too loud. 

He sat, muttering to his apparitions. Justifying each life he had taken in their name, and each life he was about to take. He ran his fingers over the sharp of his blade, examining the droplets of blood that fell from the tips. 

One by one, the others settled into their tents for sleep. They would need it, to fight the battle ahead. 

Hours passed. Dimitri stared blankly, drawing his sword at every noise. 

He heard the sound of gentle footsteps behind him. Without missing a beat, he stood from his place on the ground, turning like lightning, unsheathing his sword faster than the blink of an eye. 

Rather than an intruder, Byleth stood in front of him. The tip of his sword was pressed into her neck, but she was unfazed. She pushed his blade down with a no nonsense swipe and drew her own. Her pale eyes were wide, taking him in. 

“What do you want?” He gritted his teeth, willing her to leave him. He was a creature to be loathed. He did not understand why she still haunted him in life. 

“I’ll keep watch with you.” She nodded matter-of-factly, speaking again before he could retort. “Don’t mumble some nonsense about not needing help. A man who hears voices and sees bodies where there are none should not be the sole guard.” Her face was emotionless, but there was a bite to her voice, daring him to challenge her. 

He grunted, sitting back down on the ground. 

He did not remember what it felt like, when he wrote in his journal that he had fallen in love. There was still muscle memory, though, when he looked at her. She sat cross-legged, away from him, her chin resting on her hand and her hair cascading down her back. He did not mean to watch her, but even she was a reminder of why he deserved to suffer the way he did. He had let her down, too. 

She turned to him. Maybe, in another life, a smile would have played across her lips. He would have reached his hand out to her, pulling her closer to him, and they would sit side-by-side, talking through the night as they kept watch. But in this life, she stared somberly before turning her gaze back into the night. In the darkness, he was not sure if he had truly seen tears fall from her eyes. After all, as she had reminded him, he saw things where there were none. 

All the same, a knife twisted itself in his gut.

\- - -

Ladislava, that pathetic dog that served Edelgard, shouted incomprehensible words at them. Dimitri cared not, she would be slain like the creature she was. 

As he called the Lions into formation, something flickered in the corner of his vision. He turned.

The ghost of Dedue that haunted him was clearer than ever. He was dressed in armor, an axe at his side, standing as straight as ever. A reminder of why he must fight. 

The ghost did not fade when he blinked.

Dedue. 

He had survived. 

\- - -

Dimitri was not sure he remembered what tears had felt like. But this feeling, it must have been close. He clasped his vassal to his chest, a prayer forming each time he took a breath. 

_Goddess. Do not take him from me again._

_Glenn. Father. I am going to do what you cannot. I will slaughter her, wring her neck with my own hands. I will save all those who were taken, even if it takes me in the process. That is the only meaning to my life. I live to kill._

Dedue clasped Dimitri’s hands and reminded him that he would do anything in his power to help him achieve his goal. As ever, he was still Dimitri’s sword and shield. To see Dimitri succeed - now that, to Dedue, was reason enough to live.

Glenn and Lambert’s ghosts stood behind Dimitri, whispering, reminding him of his promise. Reminding him that he was out for blood, no matter the cost. 

Fire blazed in his vision. He remembered that instant of searing pain when he believed that Dedue had sacrificed himself. Yes, he was out for blood, but perhaps the cost _did_ matter to him. 

“Dedue…” he searched for the right words. “Of course. And in exchange, I ask that you swear something to me, here and now.” 

When he had vowed to the world that he would weather anything in his path for the right to avenge the voices in his head, he did not think that the world would give him more ghosts as penance.

He thought back to the wish he had made, under the Goddess Tower that beautiful night after the ball. 

_I wish that no one would be unjustly taken._

He looked Dedue deep in the eyes, a note of unexpected sorrow in his voice. 

“Do not ever throw your life away again. Understood?”

\- - - 

The sight of Dedue had awakened something in him that he did not understand. For the first time in a very long time, Dimitri felt something other than anger. As he and Byleth stood apart from the rest, debriefing on the battle, he tried to take the feeling apart. To see what it was made of, if he recognized it. 

She had immediately noticed that something was on his mind. Perceptive as ever, eyes kind. She was battle hardened, his right-hand, but she was also still the woman who had offered him a mug of tea with a side of compassion over five years ago. 

He denied feeling anything other than contempt for those fools who would die in the name of Edelgard. They were less than human, the same as he.

It was clear she did not believe him, but she did not push. She did what she always did. Listened. Nodded. Offered her advice when she was asked, detailing with genius what their next possible steps were. He stood in silence once she had finished, contemplating, when they were approached by Rodrigue. He led them back to where the others stood, including an unfamiliar face, a young girl. 

He could see it in her face. She had the same lust for revenge that he did. Her eyes did not fill with tears when she talked about the murder of her brother, but with flames.

\- - -

They set their camp back up in the same place as they had the night before. 

Glenn and Lambert were quiet, tonight. Dimitri did not complain when Dedue approached him with a plate. They sat together, in silence, away from the others.

_I want her with me, too._

A faint memory in the back of his head materialized.

_Dedue served a masterful dinner, followed by treats baked with love by Ashe and Mercedes._

_Sylvain regaled the tales of his latest conquests and mis-steps._

_Felix rolled his eyes, Ingrid goaded him._

_Annette poured everyone water from the jug, humming something cheerfully about how the lesson had gone that day. Flayn looked at her, admiringly._

_He laughed and joked, and stole glances at Byleth again and again, hoping to see the warmth of her rare smile. Without fail, she caught him staring each time, and his heart jumped into his throat when their eyes met._

“Your highness.”

He did not deserve to even remember her smile. The painful memory dissolved as Dedue’s voice cut through. 

“Would you like me to keep guard tonight?”

“No, Dedue. I do not sleep anymore. I will do it.” 

“I will stand with you, then.”

“Please rest, Dedue. You need it more than anyone.”

“I respectfully disagree, your highness. You are the one who needs it.” Dedue shrugged and pulled Dimitri’s empty plate from his hands. “I will leave the decision to you. I do not agree, but I will trust you to wake me if you need me.” He walked back to the larger group, reluctantly, leaving Dimitri alone again at the edge of the clearing, back against a tree. 

\- - -

Darkness had fallen. Around him, the wildlife of the woods hummed and chirped and buzzed with a lazy cadence. 

He did not start this time as he heard Byleth’s footsteps approach him. She did not say anything as she sat by his side, closer this time than the night before. He turned to her, expecting to see her gazing into the distance as she often did, lips slightly apart, hands on her cheeks. Instead, she was already observing him. 

“Dimitri.”

He exhaled sharply in response. 

Her expression softened. “I saw the man I lo-” she paused, swallowing, “The man I knew, today for a moment.” 

Though her words had never faltered before this, he still knew he was imagining things. How could he not be? How could she even stumble like _that_ , knowing who he was, knowing how unworthy he was of kindness, how devoid he was of compassion?

Yet, she reached a hand out, brushing his momentarily, before drawing back. 

Her touch burned his skin. In a flash, he remembered the fantasies he would concoct of her. Hand-in-hand, skin-to-skin, he would imagine them laying together, laughing and touching. He would imagine her lips against his, and the feeling of her pressed against him. 

He looked back at her, and her pale eyes still watched him. 

She smiled, softly. His heart jumped into his throat. 

In the very back of his head, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, the prince thought to be long-dead, stirred.


	3. Undeserving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **After the battle at the Bridge of Myrddin, Dimitri and Byleth dance around each other while preparing for the battle at Gronder.**
> 
> _Again, Dimitri marched ahead of the group, Glenn and Lambert keeping him company. Occasionally, when his muttering grew loud, Dedue would catch up to him. They would walk together, wordlessly, before his best friend, his soul’s armor, would fall back._
> 
> _As the dusk faded into night, they made their routine stop for camp. The stars in the sky taunted him, beautiful and clear as he stepped away from the fire. In the world where he was still a man, he would have asked Byleth to join him in star-gazing, and he would name each constellation after someone they knew. He would point out the brightest star in the sky, and tell her that it paled in comparison to her eyes._
> 
> _He knew Byleth would not be joining him in his watch, tonight. He had gotten his wish - he had driven her away, too, just like he had the others._

The march back to Garreg Mach was uneventful. The tired Kingdom soldiers retired to their rooms while the Lions gathered in the dining hall for a meal. 

Byleth surveyed the faces that surrounded her. Mercedes rested her head on Ashe’s shoulder, exhausted, and he held her close, eyes shut peacefully. Flayn had joined Dedue in the kitchen, piping up with questions as he cooked, the delicious smells wafting towards the group. Dorothea and Hilda chattered about the Knights they had walked back with, Marianne listening patiently. Lysithea and Annette huddled together at the end of the table, comparing the effects of Reason skills on different enemies, while Sylvain unsuccessfully tried to interject. Ferdinand mapped out the noble houses that had yet to turn to the Empire to a bleary-eyed Bernadetta who embroidered absentmindedly. Felix sat, cleaning under his nails with a knife, Ingrid perusing a map of some sort next to him. The rest had decided to wash up quickly before joining the group for a meal. 

Unsurprisingly, Dimitri was not present. 

She remembered meals of the past where they would steal glances at each other, blushing and smiling when they were caught. He would always walk her back to her room, the gentleman that he was, and she would always offer him a cup of tea. They would talk into the night, sometimes even until the dawn had made itself known. It would have been improper of her to go any further than that, so she made do with memorizing his smile, the damned smile that had taken her in. The twinkle in his eyes, twin stars, when she would offer him his favorite tea. The fall of his hair over his eyes when he tossed his head in laughter at something she had said, graceful in it’s messiness. 

He was so beautiful when he had looked at her. In her darkest nights, she remembered that face, her motivation to keep going.

Of course, she reminded herself sourly, that the Dimitri she had etched into the deepest part of her soul would not return. That man had been taken and tortured with self-loathing and the visions that swam in front of his eyes. The shell that remained served to do nothing but break her heart, again and again and again, yet for some reason she could not give up on him. 

Would not. 

\- - -

The next morning, they gathered in the meeting room as Gilbert relayed the news that the Empire was marshalling forces at Fort Merceus. Dimitri crossed his arms coldly as he contemplated the news that the Emperor herself, the witch, the unforgivable catalyst, was likely leading the forces there. His vision swam blood red as the screams in his head grew louder. Yes. This may be his chance. His chance to see her cry out, to watch her feel the pain of those she had slaughtered, to feel _his_ pain. 

The others murmured about Gronder. How Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard would be leading their forces there once again. He spat at the nostalgia. The frivolities of the past meant nothing to him, were simple sentimental distractions from the task at hand. The destruction of the Empire. 

His mind wandered as Gilbert and Byleth discussed the need for reinforcements. Catherine promised to talk to her father, insisting that he would answer their call. 

He pictured over and over again his sword cutting into Edelgard, her falling in front of him. The metallic smell of her blood rising from the ground, a sign that he had avenged, successfully. His gift, to the dead. 

He did not admit that if that happened, he would still have to face the ghost that haunted him more than any other - he would have to face himself. It was no matter. He knew he would live the rest of his life more monster than man, the rotted tree stump of a tree that once protected, a fly that still lived with it’s wings torn off.

Rodrigue suggested allying with the Alliance. Dimitri did not care about the numbers, the troops. He would have gone himself to Gronder, were it possible. He would slaughter them all, douse the rats with oil and set a torch on the ground.

He exhaled scornfully as the others reminisced about the Battle of the Eagle and the Lion. Sentimental fools. 

_They used to be our friends._

It did not matter. Friend and foe were indistinguishable to him in the fog of his mind. They blurred together into alien shapes that mumbled disturbingly. Those who must die, would die. He would make sure of it. There was nothing else that his tortured mind could be sure of.

“If we lose, we will have died for you. I hope you know that.” Dimitri snapped back to life. Felix’s eyes were scathing as he stared, intently. 

The group faded from the room, leaving Byleth and Dimitri behind. The prince stood at a window, breathing sharply in conversation with his hauntings. He did not notice, at first, that she sat in a corner, quill to paper, writing out instructions and drawing out maps. 

“Leave me.” He had finally noticed the scratching of feather on parchment from the far side of the room. 

“I have as much right to be here as you do.” Her voice was defiant, and she did not raise her eyes from her task. 

“Do not defy me.” The ice in his voice could have frozen the room over. 

The fire in hers would have burnt it. “I will do as I please, _Dimitri_.” 

The tension hung between them like the heaviest of curtains. Dimitri gritted his teeth. He did not have the strength to push the curtain aside, to reveal the window. He did not deserve the sun that shone on the other side. 

Leaving her work on the table, Byleth stood and walked towards him, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. Each of her steps was slow, deliberate. Time slowed down as he watched her, the ripped fabric of her tights and the skin on her legs, the movement of her hips, her arms crossed in front of her, delicate fingers hidden in fists. 

She came face to face with him. They stood in silence for a brief moment, before she nervously raised a hand, reaching to caress his cheek. Dimitri pulled back violently. “Do not touch me.” The snarl of his voice was pathetic, rather than venomous. 

_I am undeserving_ , he screamed inside. 

Byleth stepped away from him, an incomprehensible look in her eyes that left him cold. “As you wish.” 

She gathered up her materials and left him in the room, alone. He could not bring himself to watch her leave. He slumped to the ground, bringing his own hand to his face where she would have placed hers. 

Inside him, the man who was once Dimitri cursed him. 

_Fool. Damned fool._

\- - -

Barely a day had passed before they started for Gronder. 

Again, Dimitri marched ahead of the group, Glenn and Lambert keeping him company. Occasionally, when his muttering grew loud, Dedue would catch up to him. They would walk together, wordlessly, before his best friend, his soul’s armor, would fall back. 

As the dusk faded into night, they made their routine stop for camp. The stars in the sky taunted him, beautiful and clear as he stepped away from the fire. In the world where he was still a man, he would have asked Byleth to join him in star-gazing, and he would name each constellation after someone they knew. He would point out the brightest star in the sky, and tell her that it paled in comparison to her eyes.

He knew Byleth would not be joining him in his watch, tonight. He had gotten his wish - he had driven her away, too, just like he had the others. 

\- - -

The voices of the dead roared, chastising him for his weakness. Tearing into his mind, they screamed, they shook, they wailed. _Avenge us, Dimitri_ , some cried. 

Others, though, were more sinister, filled with loathing and spite. _I had a family. I had children. You took me from them._

The shrieks of those whom he had taken mingled with the pleas who were taken from him, sobbing. _Why do you get to live, Dimitri? Why do you get to live while we die? We, who had so much to live for, were taken. You, who have nothing, remain. What worth do you have, besides your blood, which you have not adequately spilled?”_

The corpses of the fallen rose in front of his eyes. Rotting, flesh drooping off their bones, blood spilling onto the ground. They surrounded him, a suffocating prison he could not escape from. A child wailed for it’s mother. An old man called for his wife, his voice cracking with unimaginable pain. 

“I miss the Dimitri I once knew.” 

Byleth’s voice rang in his ears. His singular eye running wild, he searched and searched for the source of the words. The same way she had again and again saved his life in battle, he cried for her to slice through the cacophony of voices and pull him up by the hand. 

The corpses closed in on him. 

\- - -

To his surprise, Dimitri woke up. 

He did not remember falling asleep. His back was sore against the tree he had propped himself up on, and he cursed himself for his carelessness. Thankfully, it was still dark, and the sun had not yet reared its cursed head to interrupt his thoughts with its reminder of his duty. 

“It’s fine.” Byleth’s voice rose from next to him, reading his mind. 

Maybe he hadn’t gotten his wish. And maybe, that was okay, just this once. 

“I’ve been keeping watch, too.” She had laid her sword in front of her on a soft cloth. Freshly polished, it reflected the moonlight onto her face. Her eyes were sharp and alert, the curve of her mouth slightly downturned, her nose flaring. Yet, despite the harshness of her expression, her features were soft. 

“Why did you not wake me?” his growl was accusatory. 

“You needed the sleep, Dimitri.” She was stern, the professor taking over from the warrior. 

“I do not deserve to rest until Edelgard’s head lies at my feet.” He muttered, the loathing in his voice unmistakable. 

“I said nothing about rest. I am not foolish enough to believe that your mind _rests_ , even in sleep.” 

She did not tell the truth that she heard him desperately whispering her name in his sleep. 

_Save me, Byleth. Byleth. Where are you?_

It pained her to see how his features contorted when he had a nightmare. The helplessness on his face was that of Dimitri, the lost. _Her_ Dimitri. The strength she had harnessed to not pull his head into her lap - to stroke his hair, to murmur comfort into his ears - had rivaled even the most intense battles she had fought. _Do not touch me._

The two sat until morning, no more words exchanged.


	4. Live for What You Believe In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Dimitri comes face-to-face with a new ghost at Gronder Field.**
> 
> “Live for what you believe in.” She breathed into his ear, pulling him in tighter. 
> 
> “I am a murderous monster, Byleth. My hands are stained red. Could one such as I truly hope for such a life…do I have the right to live for myself?”
> 
> She pushed back from their embrace and reached her hand outwards, grabbing his, a silent answer. He cherished the warmth. Today, her touch comforted him. It did not burn him. 
> 
> He sobbed, pulling her into him in the same way she had just done. “Byleth. I am sorry.”
> 
> She held him, tightly. “I forgive you.”
> 
> _I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A looooot of this dialogue is straight from the game. I didn't feel like I could modify it, it perfectly captured what was happening. I only wished to try to bring a little extra angst and love into it.

After breakfast, an hour before they were set to head out to battle, Dimitri tapped on the door of Byleth’s tent. 

“I’m armoring up. Come in.” 

“It’s me.” He said gruffly, unbuttoning the entrance to the tent. “We should head out before the others to scope out the area and strategize while-” he stopped speaking suddenly, taking in the sight before him. 

It wasn’t that she was indecent. No, it wasn’t that at all. He had seen her like this time and time again during his school years as they all got ready for battle together. 

The scars that cut their way across her body were brand new to him. They lined her collarbone and slashed down her arms. He even saw the starts of a few on her midriff that hid their tails under her clothing. 

Monster that he was, the concept of scars was nothing new to him - yet - on her skin, the sight of them were sickening. His heart rate quickened, and everything else disappeared from view. His stomach rose upwards. 

“Who did this to you?” He strode towards her, casting his gauntlets aside on the floor. They clattered emptily as he grabbed her bare shoulders, his deep voice shaking. “I will kill them. I swear it, Byleth. I will kill them.” 

Byleth took a step back, but his hands still held firm. 

“Dimitri…” she turned her head away from him, staring at the ground down past her side. 

“Tell me.” any louder, and his voice would have been a roar. 

She turned her head back to him, her seafoam eyes seeming to darken. “Every battle I have gone into under _your_ name.” She poked at his chest roughly with her index finger. “Every battle I have fought for you placed some of these scars on my body.”

 _How could you not realize?_ Bile rose in his throat. He often felt that Byleth’s mere presence haunted him, but knowing that his recklessness and hunger for revenge could have made her one of his ghosts again…

He remembered the words he had spat at her, weeks ago. _I will continue to use you and your friends until the flesh falls from your bones._

She looked at him, and he could not stand the way her eyes stared through him. “I’ll meet you out there in 10 minutes. Then we can head out and start…strategizing.” Her face did not scowl, but her voice did. She grabbed his wrists, and for a moment, he again felt burning where her skin touched his. 

For a moment after she turned her back to him, Dimitri the human willed her to turn back. Suddenly, he was kicked, falling off a cliff into the depths of water deep below, struggling to breathe as Dimitri the boar took his place. 

Without a look back, he snatched his gauntlets from the ground and left her tent. 

\- - -

Not a word was spoken on the walk to Gronder Field. 

Preoccupied, Dimitri turned to his father with questions.

“Father. I do not even understand what I care about in life, anymore. I think of you and Glenn, and my heart insists on making sure I never feel the feeling of loss again. I think of Dedue, and my heart cries to protect those around me.”

_And Byleth?_

Lambert’s voice was both kind and accusatory. _Dimitri. How long will you keep lying to yourself? How long will you keep pretending?”_

“She is nothing but a tool, father.” He nodded, his words streaming into existence under his breath. “It does not matter.” He did not believe himself, but at the same time, he did not correct himself. It did not feel safe. 

“Dimitri, if you have something to say to me, say it out loud.” Byleth pulled her hair into a bun at the nape of her neck, gritting her teeth. “I cannot _stand_ another moment of your voice under your breath.” Her voice was angry, uncharacteristically vitriolic. 

“Do not police my words.” He snarled at her, his lip curling upwards. 

“I am not policing you.” Though her voice should have been full of contempt, it was instead full of sadness. “If you are not willing to speak to me, I will accept it. Just be warrior enough to admit it to me.” She spoke in hushed tones, almost as if she expected him to ignore her. “I do not care what you say. I only care that you say it.”

He could not say it. Inside, the prince cried out - _Byleth. I would die for you. I will die for you. I will kill for you and see to it that you are protected._

The boar scoffed at him, again and again biting at his promises. _Your death means nothing. Your life means nothing. Vengeance is nothing more than a promise to silence the voices in your head. Nothing more, nothing less._ He could feel the venom striking his body, his flesh searing at the feeling. 

\- - -  
He could not truly accept the reality of this battle. 

“Edelgard. You have finally appeared.” His breath had quickened. His voice was rabid. “Now, you are mine!” The roar of his voice sent his knights into loud cheers, bolstering their spirits. He held his sword out in the air threateningly. Under his voice, he whispered. “It will be over soon. I promise.” The blood flowed into his fingers. 

The only one he could trust was himself. 

He spat at the way Dorothea cried as she saw Hubert on the ground, struggling. He ignored Claude and his declarations of animosity against the Empire. He brandished his lance in the air as yet another foe fell before him. “Come, meet your end. I await you.” His voice was threatening as it carried through the air. 

The kingdom, eventually, drove both the Empire and the Alliance into retreating. As Edelgard set fire upon the hill, Dimitri threw javelin upon javelin at the imperial forces that stood there. Less than pleased, Caspar and Ferdinand set upon a weakened Hubert, pushing him into backing away. 

\- - -

Edelgard was in sight. Blood in his mouth, Dimitri pushed towards her, each scratch in his path merely a distraction from his goal. Closer, closer, and even closer with each step, he breathed desperation into his lungs, forcing his feet to move past exhaustion. 

She stood before him, her gown red as the blood he wished to spill, a beastly crown upon her head. 

“Sister.” He spat upon the ground. 

“Your Highness.” Her voice was devoid of all feeling, her eyes seeing past him, only viewing the future in her mind. 

Unceremoniously, he drew his lance, pointing it directly at her. 

“Stab your chest. Break your neck. Smash your head. I will allow you to chose your own death. Die, bitch.”

“Not here, brother. I’m not interested in methods of dying. I have no intention of dying today.” Her face contorted into a scornful laugh. “My work is not done. I must retreat, for now.” Before he could take another step, she had fled. “We’ll meet again on the battlefield.”

He had bit his tongue so hard that he could taste the blood in his saliva. “And that will be our last meeting, dear Edelgard. You can count on it.” He sucked air between his teeth, the chill of the wind burning the cuts in his mouth. 

“Your highness! You’re alive!” Rodrigue rode up to him frantically, relief in his eyes. “We must retreat to the Great Bridge of Myrddin.”

“That woman. We failed to capture her. I will keep pursuing. The rest of you, keep fighting!” he commanded, an unstoppable fury in his voice. 

“I’m sorry, your highness. But we can’t do that. The Imperial army is closing in.” The only thing that could stop Dimitri was the urgency in Rodrigue’s eyes, the only man in his life who had filled the hole that Lambert had dug when he had passed. 

“No…I’ll kill all of them!” His voice was guttural, desperate. “No matter how many hundreds or thousands of them there are!” 

His voice had barely finished echoing before the young fire-eyed maiden from the battle at the Bridge had slashed at him. “It’s nothing compared to what my brother felt,” she hissed, scorn dripping from her words. “I will never forgive you!”

Dimitri could not react as she screamed. His body stood, frozen, as Rodrigue jumped in front of her blade as she struck. His foster father yelled for Byleth, instructing with the last of his energy for her to strike the young girl down. 

“I will never forgive you…you filthy monster!” The screams of the maiden faded into cries for her brother, mingling into the voices of those he had already slain, another brutal harmony in the chorus of his penance. 

\- - -

Dimitri shook. His entire body trembled as Rodrigue died in his arms, his only concern for the prince’s safety. 

“There are no sins or punishments on the battlefield,” he breathed, as Dimitri begged him to live, reminding him that his father, his stepmother, and Glenn had all left him. Would even Rodrigue dare to leave the world in the same way, abandoning him? Would Rodrigue be the next ghost he had willed into haunting him, in his carelessness?

“Your Highness.” Rodrigue laughed weakly, choking on his own words. “None of them…none of us…died for you. I’m dying for what I believe in…just as they did.” He reached a hand up, holding Dimitri’s face. “Your life is your own. It belongs to no other, living or dead. Live for what you believe in.” His hand fell, strength sapped. “Dimitri…my boy…” tears formed in his eyes. “You really do look like His Majesty…”

\- - -

Dimitri had not felt so shaken since the moment the Flame Emperor had taken her mask off in front of him. Each and every tear that had built up in his body since Byleth and Dedue had come back, since he had driven his beloved friends away, since even Glenn and Lambert had died…each tear welled up in his eyes as he fell to the ground, a cracked sob escaping his throat. 

He forced himself upwards, stepping into the rain that had started falling. He needed to be alone.

Staring blankly, he dug his nails into his palms. It did not matter. They were dead. They were all dead. What was the point?

He blinked. Byleth, again, phantom that she was, stood in front of him. 

“What do you want?” He did not know what to say to her. He never did, anymore. 

“Where are you going?” she looked up at him, fury in her eyes, a challenge to keep moving away. 

“It does not concern you.”

“It does.” She took a step closer to him, shaking her head. 

“Get out of my way. Now.” He would not repeat himself. He did not have time for this. 

“You’re going to Enbarr, aren’t you?” He could feel the pressure of her words, the unspoken implications of what it meant to her. “Do you really think that will appease the dead?”

For the first time in his life, he could sense disgust from her. 

“Silence.” His lip curled upwards in a snarl. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Death is the end. No matter how much lingering regret a person has, after death, they are powerless. They cannot even wish for revenge, much lest seek it out.” He spoke to her as if trying to convince both her and himself. “Hatred. Regret. Those burdens fall on the shoulders of those who are left behind.”

She did not respond with her words. Her eyes said enough. Those expressive, ocean eyes, which spoke both the light of stars and the darkness of the night. 

“…it is far too late to stop!” He found himself pleading to her. 

“You’re wrong.” She turned her back to him, but did not step away. 

He felt the death of his heart for the millionth time. “Do not waste your breath with some nonsense about how I should move on with my life for their sake. That is merely the logic of the living. It’s meaningless. Those who died with lingering regret…they will not loose their hold on me so easily.”

He could see both frustration and pity fill her eyes. 

“But…you seem to have all the answers…Professor.” He turned to her once again, the boy striking the boar aside. “How do I silence their desperate pleas? How do I…how do I save them?” Tears welled in his eyes, and he stepped towards her, chest-to-chest. “Ever since that day nine years ago…I have lived only to avenge the fallen…my only reason to keep moving forward.”

“You’ve suffered enough, Dimitri.” Her lips parted as she embraced him suddenly, pulling his head into her chest. “You must forgive yourself.”

He did not try to pull away. 

“But then who…or what…should I live for?”

He knew the answer before he even asked the question. The answer held him close. The answer never flinched in the face of his abuse. The answer had always found him, even when she had left.

“Live for what you believe in.” She breathed into his ear, pulling him in tighter. 

“I am a murderous monster, Byleth. My hands are stained red. Could one such as I truly hope for such a life…do I have the right to live for myself?”

She pushed back from their embrace and reached her hand outwards, grabbing his, a silent answer. He cherished the warmth. Today, her touch comforted him. It did not burn him. 

He sobbed, pulling her into him in the same way she had just done. “Byleth. I am sorry.”

She held him, tightly. “I forgive you.”

_I love you._


	5. Please Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Dimitri comes to his senses and decides how best to atone for his sins. Byleth is overjoyed to see glimpses of his old self again.**
> 
> Byleth sat down near Dimitri and watched as he picked at his food. The rain had let down almost completely, and both of their clothes had started to steam slightly from the warmth of the fire. He had cast his billowing cape aside, and she realized that it had been distracting her from how thin his body had gotten. It was a wonder he was able to fight at all with the state he had been in, almost sickly. 
> 
> “Do you want me to leave you alone?” She bit at her lower lip. She was worried about him, but she also knew that for the next while he would have some new thoughts to grapple with. She wanted to protect him, but she did not want to interfere. 
> 
> “I…” he wavered, his voice low and nervous. _I do not deserve you. Why do you stay? Why did you take my hand, even after I tried to drive you away? Why did you embrace me, at my lowest?_
> 
> “I do not know. I am never alone, to tell you the truth, Byleth. But-” he set his empty plate down on the ground, “-the voices are a little quieter when you are near me.” 
> 
> “Please stay.” He pleaded, quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to write some fluff today.

She did not want to let Dimitri go. But since the sky had opened up around them, shedding its own tears for the tragedy of the war, she knew that she should at least make sure they headed back to the others. 

“You’re shivering.” Byleth held their clasped hands up between them, leading the wordless prince back to camp. 

The blazing rage that had been his constant companion for the last few years had dimmed, finally forcing him to focus singularly on the loathing and sorrow that were its companions. _Goddess, how can I atone for what I have done? Is there still room for a wretch like me on your Earth? Why have you allowed me to survive?_

Though the group at large had retired to their tents, a single muscular figure tended alone to the fire. “Your Highness, Professor. You have returned. I have saved some food for the both of you. Please sit.”

Dimitri sat on the other side of the fire, pondering its depths. He was silent for a moment before speaking up. “Dedue. I do not deserve your kindness after all I have done. I hope you can forgive me.” 

“I mean every vow I pledge. To the ends of the world, I will follow you. Your goals are my goals, and every step of the way, I will still do everything you ask of me.” He stood and placed a plate of warm food in Dimitri’s hands. “Please. You need to eat. You have to rest. Your wounds need to heal. All of them.” 

Byleth took a plate of food from Dedue and glanced at Dimitri, making sure he was still in his own world. Under her breath, she spoke to the man from Duscur. “I believe he is returning to us.”

“I see it in the way he sits.” Dedue nodded. 

“You have been up far too late waiting for us. Get some rest.” 

“I wish to see to it that his Highness-”

She interrupted him. “I will take care of him, I promise. You fought hard today. I can tell that you are at your limit.” 

Dedue bowed his head in acknowledgment. “I appreciate it, Professor. I am again in your debt.”

He cast a protective look at Dimitri, then left to the tent that he shared with the prince. 

Byleth sat down near Dimitri and watched as he picked at his food. The rain had let down almost completely, and both of their clothes had started to steam slightly from the warmth of the fire. He had cast his billowing cape aside, and she realized that it had been distracting her from how thin his body had gotten. It was a wonder he was able to fight at all with the state he had been in, almost sickly. 

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” She bit at her lower lip. She was worried about him, but she also knew that for the next while he would have some new thoughts to grapple with. She wanted to protect him, but she did not want to interfere. 

“I…” he wavered, his voice low and nervous. _I do not deserve you. Why do you stay? Why did you take my hand, even after I tried to drive you away? Why did you embrace me, at my lowest?_ “I do not know. I am never alone, to tell you the truth, Byleth. But-” he set his empty plate down on the ground, “-the voices are a little quieter when you are near me.” 

“Please stay.” He pleaded, quietly.

\- - -

He had no idea how to go about making penance for the sins he had committed, but he would start by apologizing to those who stood _for_ him, stood _by_ him, even after he had taken a hot knife to the ties that bound them. 

He was supposed to be resting. Byleth and Dedue had both seen to it that he would not be needed for a day or two while his wounds started to heal. But it had been eating at him, so he threw his cloak on over his shoulders and walked down to the meeting room where he knew that everyone would be, talking about their next move - invading the Empire, as he had ordered. 

Where even just days ago he would have thrown the door open, today, he slipped through, standing silently until he felt that he could make his approach. 

Noticing his entrance, Dedue protested, but he held a hand up. “May I have a moment of your time?” He look directly at Byleth, who nodded. 

“Thank you.” He inhaled deeply and looked around at each of the faces in the room, most perplexed. Felix stood to the side, scorn dripping off of his features. “I wish to apologize. To all of you. I have led you down this dark path with me, and have caused so much suffering along the way…I cannot tell you how sorry I am for my behavior. There is no apology I could offer that would be sufficient.” His voice wavered, but he did not stop. 

Felix grunted angrily. “And how do you intend to make up for my father’s death?” His eyes were accusatory, sad, frustrated. 

“I realize words alone are not enough to repent, but I fear they are all I have.” 

“I’m not after more empty words.” Normally, Felix would have spat the words out, but this time, his voice was uncharacteristically measured. “I want you to speak through your actions.” _Goddess. Give me the ability to do as he asks. Give me the opportunity to speak through my actions._ “I wish to do the right thing from now on. That is why I have made a decision…I intend to take back the Kingdom capital.” _I will do right by those I have abandoned. I will no longer turn my back on my people. This is how I will atone_

Stunned, the room froze around him, then faces broke out into smiles. 

“As one who has served the royal family for ages, know that your words bring me great joy. And pride.” Gilbert’s eyes had filled with tears as he stepped towards Dimitri, the knight taking one of the prince’s hands in both of his own. “Can you live with the Emperor’s head slipping further out of reach?”

He insisted that he could. He would never not be able to rid himself of his hate for her, the voices in his head that spoke her name as the only way to satiate the debts he owed them. But it was time for him to stand for something, to truly live for what he believes in. 

The group had reached a solid, comfortable agreement. For the first time since they had all taken up together again, the room was not full of tension. As at the end of each of their meetings, everyone filtered away one by one. 

Again, he and Byleth were left. As she turned to leave, too, he spoke up. 

“Byleth. I may owe you the biggest apology of all.” _I am sorry I have never spoken my feelings. That I have never told you how much you mean._

“I would like to agree with Felix. Please, speak with your actions.” The gentle smile that he longed for each time he looked at her made an appearance on her face. As always, the heart of the boy in him raced. 

“Would you accompany me to the sauna?” The words had slipped from his mouth before he could even think about them. It seemed like his courage had also returned with the re-awakening of Dimitri, the prince. 

Byleth’s heart fluttered slightly. The last time they had been to the sauna together was the week before she had disappeared. 

_Usually, a rotating group of them would go together, competing to see who would last the longest through the steam. Byleth always won._

_However, that final week, no one else was able to make it for one reason or another. It had just been her and Dimitri in the sauna. They sat in a comfortable silence on opposite sides of the room, taking in the warmth. She could not help but to notice the defined muscles of his chest, to imagine what it would feel like for his bare arms to wrap themselves around her. She could not take her eyes off of him as he sat, eyes closed, arms thrown lazily behind his head._

_As if drunk on his presence, she did not even turn away when his eyes opened and he faced towards her. Maybe she had imagined it, but it seemed that he was looking her up and down, not in a measured way, but in a frantic way, as if she would disappear at any moment. There was a look in his eyes that she had not been able to describe, but it had made her, young woman that she was, blush. She was thankful the warmth of the sauna disguised the flush on her cheeks._

It had been hard to forget about how things had been, even though it had seemed like there was no chance that the Dimitri she had once fallen in love with would return. Yet today, he was again kind and courteous. Princely. 

And she wanted nothing more than to go to the sauna with him. 

\- - -

The same way her body had shocked his the morning they had gone to Gronder, he could see pain in her eyes as she looked at him through the rising steam. He was thinner than he had ever been, almost gaunt. Some of his wounds were still raw on his bruise-covered body, his hair matted from the blood and dirt of the battlefield. 

“Do I repulse you?” He intended to joke with her, but there was a note of fear in his voice. _I would not blame you if you did not want to see me like this._

“You have never repulsed me.” She answered simply. 

They sat near each other on a bench, a tense distance between them. He squeezed a little bit of shampoo into his palm and reached upwards to his head, wincing sharply as he reached the height of his shoulder. “Ow. Ow.” 

“Would you…would it be okay if I did that for you?” Byleth’s voice was soft in a way he had not heard before. 

“If you wish.” He cocked his head at her curiously, and handed her the bottle of shampoo. She made a circular motion with her finger, indicating to him that he should turn around so that his back was to her. 

He remembered the anxiety he used to have on sauna trips that she would, for some reason, look down at his lap and see him half-hard, even under the towel that was wrapped around his waist. He laughed to himself, but then bit his tongue as he felt the familiar rush of blood to the bottom half of his body as her fingers tentatively and gently made their way through his hair. 

Slowly, she started to massage circles onto his scalp, and he watched as the grime in his hair washed downwards as she poured cold water from a nearby bucket onto his head. He could feel the care in each of her movements, a deliberation in each touch of her hands. He had forgotten what it had felt like to be cared for. 

“So soft.” She mumbled, combing her fingers through his newly clean hair. She continued to massage his scalp, and he let himself lean back slightly into her.

“Mmm. Thank you. This feels…really pleasant.” He did not listen today to the voice that told him that he was not allowed to feel nice.

It was impolite to refuse a lady, after all. 

“I think so too.” Her voice was still a murmur. Her hands made their way to the tops of his shoulders, her thumbs working out knots in his neck. “Is this okay?”

“Yes. But you do not have to-” _Do not inconvenience yourself on my behalf. I am but barely a man._

“Please let me.” 

He hummed as her fingers worked, his body electric at her touch. It took all of his willpower to not turn and pin her down to the bench, then and there. _The woman who awakened the human in me seems to be the only person who can awaken the beast, too._ He mused to himself, surprised at the fact that there was still some amount of humor left in him. 

He did not want this moment to end, but still, the time came when she nervously drew her hands away. “We should…we should probably finish up in here soon. It might seem odd that we are both away for so long.”

“What’s odd about it?” he felt a smirk play onto his lips. “Come now, Byleth, you must not think such thoughts around me. I might get the wrong idea.” 

He enjoyed the flush on her cheeks as they both stood. He enjoyed that he once again felt the urge to tease and joke. 

He opened the door for her, bowing. “Meet me here when you are clothed. I will walk you back.”

\- - -

“Would you like to come in for some tea, Dimitri?”

He did not think he would ever hear those words again. He felt slightly choked up as he agreed. “Yes. I would love that.”

She opened the door to her room, this time, allowing him in first, then closed it behind them. “Let me put some water on, and I’ll brew some chamomile. Is it still your favorite?”

“You remember, even after so long?” he laughed. 

“How could I forget?”

He watched her as she busied herself with preparing the cups, tidying up the table he was sitting at as the water heated. 

Placing the cups in front of them, she slid into her chair, looking him over with her familiar gaze. “Are you doing okay? Would you like to talk about…?” She trailed off. Some things about her never changed. He did not realize how much he had wanted to hear her voice over tea again.

He shook his head. “Not right now. I need to spend a bit more time with my own thoughts, and decide how best I am going to move forward with my life and atone for my sins.” He sighed. “I do think, though, I am eventually going to want to introduce you to the demons who live rent free in my head, and get some feedback from you on how I can evict them. I am a poor landlord. You know how I could never stay away from spilling my guts out to you.” He smiled at her with charm he did not realize he still possessed. 

They both sipped the chamomile. Neither spoke for a long time, enjoying the silence, though the strange tension that was present between them at the sauna had returned.

Dimitri contemplated the voices in his head and argued with himself. 

_Is it even okay that I am sitting here and drinking tea?_

_Should I not be in my own chambers, creating a plan of action?_

_She asked me to tea._

_I am the one who asked her to the sauna._

_I am still a human. I am allowed to spend time with my friends._

_I have not been human for long enough yet._

_I have not yet earned the right to enjoy her company.  
_

The last voice was the loudest. He drained his mug and stood politely, bowing his head. His self-loathing grew by the minute. It would not do him well to stay for longer. 

“It is getting late. I must go back.”

_Was that disappointment on her face? Does she truly want me here? Am I not a burden to her?_

She stood, and suddenly, he realized what the tension between them was. 

“I understand. But one thing, before you leave.” She walked towards him deliberately, unbuttoning her outer cloak and shedding it onto the floor. 

It was as if his fantasies from five years ago had escaped from his mind. She stood in front of him and grabbed his hands, pushing his back onto her door. She placed his hands on her hips and stood up on her tiptoes, reaching up to grab his shoulders. 

“I have wanted to do this since I met you.” She whispered.

“Is that so?” He smiled mischievously, his face close to hers. “Apologies, Professor, but I may just have to beat you to it.”

He leaned his head down and pressed his lips to hers, soft clouds against his mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Before the march to Fhirdiad, Dimitri must learn how best to balance his sorrow and his duty.**  
>    
>  _“I do not want to kill you, Byleth.”_
> 
> _“If I die, it will not be because you killed me. Remember what Rodrigue told you? My life is my own. I choose what to do with it.” Her eyes were patient as she continued to run her fingers through his hair._
> 
> _“But if you stay, if you stay with me, you may still choose a death for yourself that is caused by my actions.” His voice rattled with gravel as he tried to speak up._
> 
> _“Come now. Give me some credit.” She pulled her shirt up slightly, exposing the scars at her side. “If I were to have died for you, it would have already happened. I wield power bestowed to me by the Goddess herself. I cannot save everyone, I cannot win everything, but I can do enough to live on.”_
> 
> _He turned her words over in his head. She had always been cryptic about the powers she held. “Do you promise me, Byleth?”_
> 
> _“I promise. I will not die for you. I will continue to live, for you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Dimitri has a panic attack. ctrl+f to "the sun shone its rays" and read down from there if you would like to skip the meat of it.

In recent memory, he had only ever felt happy in dreams, just before the demons that haunted him in his sleep were preparing to snatch him into a nightmare. 

When he had left his bed this morning, he was absolutely sure he was awake, yet the hours he had spent today with Byleth had surpassed in happiness even the beginnings of his worst nightmares. After six years of near-constant longing, five of which had been nothing but tortured imaginings, his lips had finally met hers. The feeling was nothing short of blissful. A beam of sunlight through the storm clouds of his mind, an impossible moment of silence in the cacophony. 

She pulled him in further. He held her tightly, savoring the last moments before the inevitable start of the nightmare. 

For some reason, it did not come. 

Byleth pulled away from him reluctantly, but her smile was wider than he had ever seen it. “Dedue will have a fit if I break you while you are supposed to be healing.” She seemed surprised at her own flirtation. “I suppose I should let you get back to your quarters, your Highness.”

“Must I?” His voice was playful, but the expression in his visible eye was closer to worry. _I do not want to leave you. I do not want to be alone._

She placed her head on his chest. “I do not want you to leave either, Dimitri.”

_It would be dangerous if you stayed. You do not deserve to be here. She deserves more than this. You cannot allow this to continue. You will hurt her._

“No, you are right. It is late. And it would raise far too many eyebrows if I was seen leaving your quarters before breakfast had even been served.” He nodded unconvincingly. “And, as you said, Dedue will likely have my head for even leaving my quarters today.” He gently disentangled himself from her and bowed deeply. “I hope we can spend some more time together before our next battle, as I heal up. Perhaps we can share breakfast, tomorrow.” 

_Hope as much as you want. You know it won’t be safe. You do not deserve her love. And you do not know what would happen to her if you turn back into a monster._

A sad look crossed her eyes, as if she had been reading his mind. She leaned upwards to kiss him again softly before opening the door to let him through. “I hope we can, too. I will see you in the morning.”

\- - -

Even though he couldn’t sleep, the nightmare started as soon as he was alone. 

He was able to make it back to his room without falling to his knees, but as soon as he shut the door behind him, a guttural scream escaped from his throat. He took to the walls, punching and kicking with no pattern. Blood from his knuckles started to stain the stone red as his voice grew more and more strained, yet he continued to scream. 

His head was pounding with the voices of the slain. Still, they did not leave him. They reminded him what he had done. What he had taken from them. 

_You will never be able to atone. You will never deserve the gift of life you have been again and again given by those who have died in your name. Your presence and your love are nothing but risks others take._

_It is no different than if you had killed them yourself._

_You will kill her the same way._

\- - -

The sun shone its rays through the window onto Dimitri. He did not know when he had stopped screaming, but each breath he took still rubbed his throat as raw as his knuckles. He wrapped his cloak around him even tighter, but that did not stop the furious shivering. 

He curled up on the ground, a weak whimper slipping through his lips. 

_Byleth. I will not kill you too._

The clock ticked behind him, meaningless noise that faded in and out. 

The sun moved around his room slowly, peering in through the window at different angles, sometimes glinting off of his swords or his glasses or knick-knacks he had kept from his father. 

A knock sounded at his door. He did not move. 

“Dimitri?” A faint voice called out to him from the other side. 

He did not try to figure out who it was. It did not matter. If they came looking for him, they cared about him. And that was more than enough reason to ignore them. 

“I am going to break through your door if you do not open it.” The voice was soft and sad and aggressive all at the same time. 

He heard the sound of electric static as the mechanisms that made up his lock whirred. The door opened with a loud thud, hitting the wall behind it, bouncing and creaking slightly on its way back. 

Byleth carefully stepped into the room. 

“Thank you, Ly.” The ocean-haired professor called backwards. Even in his current state, Dimitri knew no one but Lysithea was capable of magic so careful that it did not destroy the lock to his door. 

Byleth closed the door behind her, kneeling down on the floor next to the slumped prince.

“Byleth.” His voice broke out softly, hoarse. “Why did you come?”

She brushed his hair out of his face. 

“Despite your inability to taste, you are not one to skip a meal you promised someone. It is nearly lunch-time.”

“You should not be here. It will kill you. Let me be. Do not touch me. I am cursed. I am a creature.” He muttered under his breath, the syllables blending into each other. He curled into himself further. “Leave me, please, leave me here.”

“Dimitri. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay. I promise you.” Byleth pulled his head up onto her lap, stroking his hair gently. 

“I do not want to kill you, Byleth.” 

“If I die, it will not be because you killed me. Remember what Rodrigue told you? My life is my own. I choose what to do with it.” Her eyes were patient as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. 

“But if you stay, if you stay with me, you may still choose a death for yourself that is caused by my actions.” His voice rattled with gravel as he tried to speak up. 

“Come now. Give me some credit.” She pulled her shirt up slightly, exposing the scars at her side. “If I were to have died for you, it would have already happened. I wield power bestowed to me by the Goddess herself. I cannot save everyone, I cannot win everything, but I can do enough to live on.” 

He turned her words over in his head. She had always been cryptic about the powers she held. “Do you promise me, Byleth?”

“I promise. I will not die for you. I will continue to live, for you.” 

She gently lifted him up into a sitting position besides her. “Are you strong enough to sit? Would you like me to bring you some food? Dedue is worried out of his mind. He has been pacing the kitchen non-stop. I at least need to go back and speak with him.”

He was grateful that she asked no questions about his state. About what led him to this low. “No. I will come with you. It will do me good to leave this room, to stand.”

She seemed skeptical initially that he was in fair enough condition to walk with her, but he insisted. _I owe it to those I live for to continue living. I owe it to those who have died to keep moving forward. I cannot avenge them, shivering, from a stone cold floor._

\- - -

Byleth sat to the side while Dedue and Dimitri sat together over lunch. His posture was again princely, and slight smiles formed when he spoke to his best friend in confidence. No matter how broken he was, no matter how much he suffered in his mind, the fact that Dedue was by his side would always allow him to pick some of the pieces back up.

She remembered something Dedue had told her, yesterday, before the war council had disbanded. 

_“Everyone is saying His Highness is back to his old self, but I do not think that is accurate. What he was until recently is what he had been for as long as I’ve known him. So tortured by his compassion for the fallen that it had driven him mad. He has always been too kind to be king. He has always felt too much for the weak and the dead.”_

The prince, done with his meal, roused her from her thoughts.

“Would it be alright if we took some tea up to the rooftop? I would like for us to be alone, just for a while. I have spoken with Dedue, already, about what happened. I would like to tell you, too.”

Byleth nodded. “Of course.”

As they settled onto a bench overlooking the monastery grounds, Dimitri took a deep breath, contemplating his words. 

“I suppose it can be said that I am the way I have always been. The face you see in front of you is me. The man who you found slumped on his floor was also me. I am proud, I have the will to lead with integrity, going forward. But I am also weak. It was still me who lead our knights selfishly. I hear things. I see things. I do not have the ability to comprehend the suffering around me, but I must, so it breaks me, again and again.”

“If you still need more time, you do not have to pretend that you are okay.” Byleth scolded him gently. 

“No, no. It always feels the same. I do not think the guilt will leave me. I did a lot of things that I will never be able to atone for, and I believe those will always be a part of me.” He sighed deeply, sipping his tea. 

“I do not feel that I deserve to be happy. But yesterday was the happiest I have been. Maybe ever.” He reached over to hold her hand, beside him. “That is why my living nightmares are so horrific. Why I could not even lift myself up this morning. I fear that you too will become one of my ghosts. I fear that I may, again, turn into a monster, and you will have to face it.”

She squeezed his hand. “Let me support you. Let me face this with you.” 

“I do not know why I am telling all of this to you right now. But I cannot atone for my sins if I face my demons alone. I must accept the hands that reach out to me, so I can be strong enough.” He smiled at her. “I want to move forward, Byleth. I may never be able to redeem myself, but with the life I have been given, I want to use every ounce of my power to try.” 

He set his tea down next to him on the bench and curled his fingers into and out of a fist. “It has been a lot to deal with. I have a lot of things in me I have not yet even begun to unwind since I allowed the beast to return to the back of my mind.” He looked back into her attentive eyes, which to him, were more beautiful than the sun shining on the water, the rustling of the trees, and the entire sum of the world all put together. She had listened to every one of his words so carefully, and he was thankful beyond measure for her. 

He did not know what it was, but he did not even feel guilt in this moment. Perhaps it was because she already knew what was inside him, without him having to say it out loud.

And, perhaps it was because he loved her. Loved her with the passion of the boy he once was, the fury of the monster that lived within him, and the desperate resolve of the man he had become.


	7. Dinner Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hilda interrupts a moment between Dimitri and Byleth. You can guess the rest.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter was pretty heavy. I wanted to write something a little lighter today, a bit of fluffy nonsense.
> 
> Anyway, I'd love some feedback - do we want some fluffy smut, next? More vanilla fluff? Angst? All of the above, mixed together? Should I do more of these lighter interspersions? Are there any other characters you'd like to see pop their heads in, or less of other characters and more pure Dimileth?

“Is this the part where I get to kiss you again?” Byleth squeezed his hand. “I do not know a better way to tell you that I am proud of you.” 

Dimitri laughed. “Byleth, I believe as of now, it is _always_ the part where you can kiss me again.” He gently grabbed both of their tea-cups and placed them on the ground in front of them. 

He leaned in to grab her waist, and pressed his lips to hers.

She hummed slightly as she tentatively bit at his bottom lip, before sliding her hands under his heavy cloak and feeling his muscled shoulders through the fabric of his tunic. She gently dug her nails into him as she swiped her tongue slowly across his bottom lip. 

Reacting with a growl Dimitri pulled her in further, roughly meeting her tongue with his before-

“Professoooooor! I’ve been looking for you _everywhere_ , I need to ask you about what Marianne and I need to prep before we - _oh_.” They were not able to pull apart from each other in time before a most enthusiastic Hilda bounced up the stairs.

“Hell- _o_ you two.” She giggled, covering her mouth with a hand. “I am truly sorry, I did not realize I was interrupting _something_. I can…come back later. If you will still be here.” She winked suggestively. “Oh goodness.” Her giggling increased in force, the tips of her ears slightly reddening. 

“No, no, Hilda. It’s, um. It’s fine.” Byleth had turned a deep tomato color, looking between Dimitri and Hilda. “I can come with you.” She hastily stood from the bench, flattening down her rumpled clothing, then turned to Dimitri. “I believe Shamir and Seteth needed to speak with you today as well. Perhaps I will see you…” She did not want to ask him to dinner in front of Hilda. She would not hear the end of it. 

“I will come by your quarters at 7 to take you to dinner.” He, too, stood from the bench, bowing deeply to her before taking her hand and kissing it. “No need to bother yourself, Byleth. I will leave you two lovely ladies to speak up here.” 

He left down the stairs, glancing back at Byleth with a renewed smile. 

“Pro- _fess_ -or!” Hilda rushed to the unoccupied spot on the bench, grinning wildly. “Oh my goodness. I can- _not_ believe this.” 

“Hello, Hilda. What did you need me for?” Byleth did her best to ignore the mischievous lilt of the other woman’s voice, sitting back down. 

“That can wait! Tell me _everything_. Oh Goddess. Sylvain and I have been arguing about this for _weeks_ , he said it wouldn’t happen until after the war because Dimitri was probably going to be hearing ghosts until _at least_ then, but I was right when I said that he would snap out of it sooner or later and-”

“Hold on. _What?_ ”

“Oh my goodness, you have no idea how ridiculous you two have been, have you, Professor?” Hilda was doing a poor job holding her laughter in. “I’m surprised no one but Sylvain and I noticed. I mean, it was obvious when we were still in school that he was head-over-heels for you, but over the last couple months, you two kept alternating glances at each other like lovesick star-crossed fairy-tale lovers. And anyways, you were the _only_ one that Dimitri listened to.”

Byleth sighed deeply, burying her face in her hands. She should have guessed that Hilda and her magical 6th sense would have picked up on something that she had tried her best at even hiding from herself. 

Hilda slung her arm around Byleth’s shoulders. “If it helps, I think everyone but Sylv and I have been too irritated at Dimitri’s behavior to notice. Your secret is safe with us. But Sylvain owes me 100 gold and dish duty for a week, so unfortunately I am _going_ to have to tell him. I don’t make the rules.” She shrugged. 

“Fine. Fine. But no one else. I don’t even know what we’re doing, we haven’t even talked about it yet, and-” Byleth groaned and leaned her head all the way back. She was _not_ prepared to talk to Hilda about her newly budding love life. She had barely admitted to herself that she had a newly budding love life, for Goddess’ sake. “Can we just talk about the battle preparations?”

“Mmmm, Professor, this is far more important. He’s even asked you to dinner tonight. You _cannot_ go to dinner with a prince dressed like that. I’ll talk to Marianne and tell her to talk with Catherine and Gilbert about prep. You and I have other things to work on.” Hilda shut down Byleth’s protests with a cheerful sternness that only she could muster. “No buts. We aren’t leaving for a couple days, anyway, and we have _all_ been telling you for weeks to take a couple days off. Go take care of whatever you need to take care of, and I will meet you at your quarters in two hours to help you get ready,” 

She squeezed Byleth into a hug before excitedly running down the steps without another word. 

Byleth collected the teacups from the ground and sighed again. It was barely past noon, and it had already been shaping up to be a rollercoaster of a day. 

\- - -

A knock sounded at Dimitri’s door. 

“Come in.” Papers were strewn about his desk as he tried to figure out if he could learn anything from historical battles that had taken place at Fhirdiad. Of course, today was a bad day for this. He was far too distracted by thoughts of Byleth, like some sort of teenager. 

A devilsh Sylvain strode through the door. 

Great.

“Well, your Highness, you’ve barely been back to your old self for two days, and you’re already slaying ladies on rooftops without even a _word_ to your court philanderer?” Sylvain bounded in, taking the chair in front of Dimitri’s desk. 

“Did Hilda-”

“We’ve been betting between the two of us for weeks. She won. I owe her 100 gold and-anyway, that’s besides the point.”

“We have a battle to prepare for, Sylvain.”

“We have plenty of time. You’re supposed to be taking a couple days off anyway, _Dimitri_.” 

The blond haired man sighed and placed the papers he was holding onto the mess on his desk. “Did you just come in here to make fun? And before you ask, no, I will not be giving her a dagger. She has a sword much nicer than mine.”

“Oh, no, I’m here for a reason. Word is that you two will be dining together tonight.” Sylvain winked. 

“Is it truly that strange to make plans to dine with someone in the public dining hall?”

“Not at all. I just wanted to give you some advice.” The redhead leaned forward. “I think you should treat her to a meal here.”

Dimitri pondered Sylvain’s words slowly. “You mean…in my quarters? Would that not be…improper? We haven’t really spoken about…”

Sylvain chuckled. “Trust me. If you already haven’t spoken about what’s going on between the two of you, you _definitely_ aren’t going to do it in the dining hall, where other people are.”

The prince stood and turned to the window behind him. “Goddess, Sylvain. I can’t screw this up. I’m half ghost, myself. She’s the most beautiful woman alive, and I don’t even understand-”

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” Sylvain called to Dimitri, gesturing for him to sit back down. “Trust me, you may be the prince of Farghus, but I’m the prince of Screwing Things Up With The Ladies on Purpose, and I can tell you that you are not going to screw things up, _especially_ with her.”

Dimitri sat back down, facing his childhood friend with a tired eye. “I will give you that much.”

“You deserve a nice evening. Court your lady, properly.” Sylvain smirked. “Let me help you.”

\- - -

 _Hilda’s right,_ Byleth thought, looking into her mirror. _I can look pretty nice, when I try._ She turned slightly from side to side, examining the way the basically-new dress Hilda pulled from her cupboard hugged her curves. 

“See, Professor?” She smiled adoringly at her friend. “Look at you. Dimitri has a…good eye.” 

Byleth laughed. “Hilda!”

“Seriously. He won’t be able to keep his eye off of you. Or his hands. He might have been able to resist your charms when he was a one-eyed-monster, but now that he’s back to himself, _his_ one-eyed-monster has _no_ chance of it.” She cackled to herself at her own crude joke. 

Byleth flushed brightly. 

“Oh, come on. Or, are you telling me that…” Hilda’s eyes grew wide. “Oh dear.”

“What?”

“Have you not…you know…?” She pointed back at Byleth’s bed with her thumb. 

Somehow, it was possible for Byleth to get more red. “It’s only been two days, Hilda.”

“Okay, fair enough.” Hilda’s brow furrowed. “But do you _want_ to?”

Byleth thought about the question. She was glad she could not redden further, because she _also_ thought about the less than proper library of fantasies she had been building about Dimitri for some time. “I mean. Yes. But I know nothing of propriety, or pacing, or when is _right_ -”

“Oh Professor,” Hilda waved her hand dismissively. “That’s all nonsense. If you both are ready and you both want it, that’s the right time.” 

“How do I know if he…”

“Professor. You simply ask him. Or, I guess, you can make a move, and if he says no, he’s not ready.”

Byleth frowned. “I’m not sure I can make a move. I get really nervous about these things. I was shaking when I asked if I could wash his hair in the sauna.”

“YOU WASHED HIS HAIR IN THE SAUNA?!” Hilda’s expression of shock and joy was so animated that Byleth could not help but smile shyly in response. 

“I mean. I did. It seemed like the right thing to do, in the moment.”

“If you can muster up the nerve to do that, you can muster up the nerve to touch him while you kiss. See how you feel about that. And go from there.” Hilda beamed with joy at her opportunity to be Byleth’s teacher, instead of the other way around. “Now then. You look lovely. You know what you want. You know what to do. And it’s 6:55. If I do not see you at breakfast in the morning, I will assume you had a lovely night, and expect all the details over lunch. If I do not see you at lunch, I will assume you had a _fantastic_ night, and I will _insist_ on dinner and tea after.” 

Byleth raised an eyebrow. “I’m not making any promises, Hilda.”

Hilda scoffed. “Oh, trust me, I am. Now, I’m out of here.” She packed her makeup kit back into her bag and pecked Byleth on the cheek. “Be good, now.” She winked. 

No sooner had the door shut behind Hilda that a tapping rose on the wood. 

“One moment.”

Byleth took a deep breath, taking one final look at herself in the mirror. She felt gorgeous. And she was going to dinner with Dimitri, and she was going to kiss him again, and they were going to have a lovely time. 

She opened the door slowly, coming face to face with the Prince himself. He had traded his cloak for a sharp jacket that emphasized his shoulders and accentuated his arms, and she had to keep herself from staring. “You look quite nice.” She smiled. 

“That’s my line.” He smiled back, wider. It took all of his restraint to not push her back into the room, then and there, and pick up where they had left off after lunch.

\- - -

“Aren’t we going to the dining hall?” Byleth wondered out loud, as he took her in the opposite direction. 

“Oh.” He cleared his throat. “If it is okay with you, I put something together in my quarters. But if you would prefer, I can take you to the hall.” 

“No, no. I would love to see what you have planned for me.” She felt a rush of warmth, and elation. He was particularly handsome when he was nervous.

\- - -

Dimitri swung the door to his chambers open, letting Byleth in before him. His lips curled upwards as she gasped. 

Candles lined the room, and bouquets of forget-me-nots shone in vases mounted on the wall by each torch. A beautiful arrangement of roses sat in the middle of the table at the center of the room, on top of an embroidered tablecloth, piled with plates of cheese, meat, and bread. A glass of sparkling wine for each of them sat in front of the two chairs that faced one another, and a small table to the side held a tray of chocolates. 

“I hope this will be to your liking, Byleth?” He bowed, pulling out her chair for her. 

Stunned, she took her seat wordlessly, examining the set-up with wide eyes. “Dimitri. You must not be serious. All this, simply for dinner:”

He pushed his nerves away with a charming smile. “Not simply for dinner. Because it is dinner with you.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Dimitri finally understands that Byleth has chosen him. They spend a lovely dinner together, talking and drinking wine...and other...things. Hilda and Sylvain would be proud of them.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING! ("finally!" I hear some of you shouting)
> 
> If you don't want to read smut, once you hit " _Do it, Byleth._ She urged herself. ", read no further. 
> 
> Oh my god, this was so fun to write.

When she opened her door and stepped out, taking his offered arm as they walked back to his quarters, he felt like his mind had gone blank. He could lead an army into battle, he could slaughter hundreds, he could demand the head of the emperor without a glance back or a second thought - but the sight of his boyhood crush in a form-fitting dress sent all the blood in his head rushing elsewhere. 

_There are few places less romantic than the dining hall, Dimitri. Roses, wine, and something simple but delicious is enough to charm her and give both of you a chance to relax and just…talk. Or, anything else._ Sylvain’s wink was maddening, but Dimitri ignored it. Of course, “anything else” had been on his mind…oh, had it _been on his mind_. He wanted nothing more than to rip the clothes off of her, to kneel over her, to make her scream his name with such passion that she went hoarse. To please her until she did not even know what to scream anymore. 

_It seems my desire takes the form of the beast._ He pondered. _I want her, but I do not want to hurt her._

_See? You admit it. You will hurt her._

_Idiot. I don’t have time for this._

_You are not worth her, worth her mind or her body. And now, you lead her to certain death._

He pushed the voices aside. _I must do something for myself. For her. Otherwise, I will not be strong enough to do anything for all of you. I am allowed love._

_You make excuses. You defend your desire to indulge in human connection, masking your selfishness with weak justification. If you truly loved her, you would set her free, to find someone worthy of her presence. Of her kindness, of her beauty._

He felt something close to anger rise within him. He felt his consciousness stand up and slap the voice in his head straight across its face. _Stop being such a melodramatic fuck. For one night, let me be a normal man._

He was surprised, but at the same time, he was a little proud of himself. 

Byleth’s voice pulled him out of his own head. “Aren’t we going to the dining hall?”

“Oh.” He realized he had forgotten to tell her. “If it is okay with you, I put something together in my quarters. But if you would prefer, I can take you to the hall.”

His heart rose as her lips widened in a grin. “No, no. I would love to see what you have planned for me.”

\- - -

He made a mental note to buy Sylvain a bottle of the nicest whiskey he could find. To put it simply, it seemed that Byleth was taken by the set-up that Sylvain had instructed him in putting together. She leaned in to smell the roses at the table again and again. 

This man, in front of her - his golden hair, his sapphire eye, the deep, smooth mahogany of his voice - she would forego every meal for the rest of her life if she could simply feed on his presence. She wanted to run her hands over his body, feeling his skin under his jacket, palm at his hardness, run her breath up and down his neck and watch him squirm under her.

It hit her that they could die at any moment. She would not leave her words unsaid.

If he did not want her the way she wanted him, she did not want to stay for dinner. It would be too painful to stay. It was equally painful to know this moment could end with the conversation she was about to start. But it was only fair to both of them that they speak. She remembered what Hilda had told her, albiet about something slightly different, but still felt true. _If he says no, he’s not ready._

“Dimitri?” Byleth pursed her lips nervously, breaking the silence.

“Yes?”

“What is…you know…this?” She gestured vaguely. 

“Decorations.” He chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Or do you mean something else?” He knew what she meant. 

He knew what he wanted to say, but his nerves pricked like needles as he pondered the answer. He was certain, certain that she felt the same way. The mere fact that she had stood by his side, even when he had selfishly driven the army towards his own twisted goals. The way she had taken his hand when they were on watch together. There was not really another explanation, other than pure insanity, and he did not believe she was _that_ mad.

But he wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do.

“Are we…together?” She leaned over the table, her brows furrowed. 

He spoke slowly, as if his words were being drawn from a bowl of honey. “I am scared. I am so scared, Byleth. I do not know my own mind, and I do not want to drive you away. I would feel guilty, if you wanted to be mine. I truly believe I do not deserve you.” He sighed deeply and placed his hand over hers, closing his eye. He had said it. Perhaps they gave out medals to the Master of Self-Sabotage.

Her face fell, and his heart cracked. “I understand. Perhaps…perhaps I should be going, then? I do not want to prolong this, if you are not sure…if you are not sure if you will have me.” She slipped her hand out from under his and stood. He could not stand the look on her face as she slowly turned away from the table. He could hear a quiet sniffle. He felt the broken pieces of his glass heart rubbed into stone by a heavy heel.

He wanted her more than anything. But he did not know how to both tell her that while articulating the fear in his blood, that demon that always sat in the back of his mind. The absolute knowledge that the voices in his head spoke the truth. Perhaps it was better that she was to leave. Perhaps this was what he deserved. If he drove her away, she would be safe, she could be happy, she could-

She turned back, her eyes filled with tears. “I do not want any more of you making decisions for me. I decide if I want to be with you. You do not get to decide what is best for me.” Either she was a mind-reader, or his predictability surpassed even the consistency of Annette’s kitchen experiments. 

_My life is my own. I choose what to do with it._ He mentally repeated the words she had spoken to him, only this morning, yet a lifetime ago. Dimitri felt like he had been bowled over by a demonic beast. He again pulled himself up, and delivered a nose-breaking punch to the voice in his head. 

_Quiet. I will not do her a disservice by not trusting her. I will not do her a disservice by lying to her. She deserves the truth._

“Byleth.” His voice was shaky as he stood and walked towards her, taking both of her hands in his own. "From the moment I first met you, I decided that I wanted no other. I sat in the front row of class, every single day, because I lived off of your praise. I asked you to tea, again and again, just so I could listen to you talk. I was not joking at the Goddess Tower, when I asked if I should wish for us to be together forever.”

Her downturned eyes looked up into his. He was emboldened by the fact that the sorrow had left her expression. 

“The first thing that broke me was when I believed you had died. I had planned, the moment after I graduated, to tell you how I felt. But then, you were gone.” He led them both to sit on the edge of his bed. 

“I filled my time with fighting and drinking. I tried to fill the void in my heart with other women, to see if it was possible to feel the same way again, that I did about you. But it was not. The sight of even the most beautiful women did nothing for me compared to the simple thought of your smile. It kept me going.” 

He thought about how he would think about Byleth when other women were in his bed. He always chose the ones with blue or green hair, just so in the dim light, it was easier to pretend.

She leaned a head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist, listening attentively, as ever. Her arms around him were a book and a crackling fireplace during a thunderstorm. The way she spoke her silence was a soft robe, wrapping around him, shielding him from himself.

“When you found me in these very ruins, I did not realize how broken I was. Rodrigue’s death may have brought me back from the dead, but you were the one who found my body. You reminded me that I was, still human, somewhere deep down.” He reached a hand up to her head, stroking her hair like she had done to him so many times before. 

“So,” he finished, “if you will have me, yes. I would like to be together. With you.” He looked down at her and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I do not care what the voices say. I will let you decide if you choose me, too.”

“Yes. More so than anything.” She leaned upwards to kiss him. “I feel better now. I’m sorry about that.” 

If her hair was the foam of the sea and her eyes were the ocean, he would drown himself a thousand times over to see the smile on her face, a reflection of moonlight and all the stars on the water.

“Shall we eat? I’ve been _hungry_ since the moment I set eyes on you earlier.” He pulled out his most charming of smiles, taking her hand up to his lips gallantly.

She flushed.

\- - -

They spoke about most things. 

_“Is the Goddess finite?”_

_“Are Sylvain and Felix secretly seeing each other?”_

_“How would you set up your troops if you had an extra battalion of archers, and one less battalion of mages?”_

_“Why does Flayn seemingly never age?”_

Topic after topic, they both laughed, pondered, and argued, smiles never leaving their faces. 

Generally, drinking would make the voices in his head louder, more furious. Today, though, after his own attack of willpower against them, he just felt a slight buzz. It seemed that a glass of wine had eased both of their nerves. She seemed more free, her eyes wandered, often setting themselves on him. He would catch her staring, and instead of looking away, she would tilt her head and smile. He felt charming and handsome, after a second glass. He joked with her, grinning mischeviously as he commented on how he had never seen her in a dress before. He was glad for the table, as it was the only thing between his tightening pants and Byleth’s wandering gaze.

“I believe we may be the only pair who examines historical wartime documentation in the bedroom.” Byleth laughed as she pulled her chair over to the other side of the table next to Dimitri, who had pulled a couple of scrolls from his desk and laid them out side-by-side on the table. 

“Well, not all pairs are a war-time Prince and his Goddess-powered adviser.” He chuckled and took another sip of wine. 

_Remember, Professor. If you want to flirt but you’re too nervous, take a sip of wine._ Hilda’s instructions rang in her head. So, Byleth also took a sip of her wine. A rather large sip, in fact.

“I do think, however,” she placed a hand on his thigh, a surge of confidence flowing through her, “that perhaps there are better things we could be doing in here.”

“Is that so?” Dimitri raised an eyebrow, masking his incredulous excitement with the most roguish charm he could pull off. He had been trying to figure out when the best time for him to kiss her again would be, but did not want to cut short their time talking. Each second he spent with her, though, made him so acutely aware of how attractive he found her. The way her long lashes softly fluttered when she blinked, the reddening of her cheeks when he complimented her, the shape and movement of her lips - not to mention how her dress tightly hugged her chest and waist, flaring down from her hips into a skirt that ended squarely above her knees. _Goddess. Save me._

“Yes, I think that is so.” The way his voice had lowered sent shivers down her spine. She pulled his wine glass from his hand and placed it on the table with a soft _clunk_. 

_Do it, Byleth._ She urged herself. 

She took a shaking breath and leveraged herself from her chair onto Dimitri’s lap, straddling him with one knee on each side of his body. She took his face in her hands and pulled him in for a kiss. He found himself reaching for her hips, grabbing her greedily, nibbling at her lower lip while they waged play with their mouths. They both tasted like wine and honey and chocolate, and neither of them could get enough as they sucked and ran their tongues over each other’s mouths. 

“And to think we could have been doing this earlier.” She felt his smirk under her lips as he ran a hand into her hair. “I couldn’t decide if I wanted to watch you more or touch you more. It was a hard decision to make.” 

Though not a stranger to sexuality in her fantasies, she had never _been_ with someone like this before. Merely the soft feeling of Dimitri’s lips on hers was enough to make her so aroused that she felt like the heat emanating from her body would melt him. 

Tentatively, she moved upwards slightly so that she could feel his erection under her, and a soft moan escaped from her lips as he started tracing lines up and down her sides. “Did I do that?” she muttered playfully, grinding herself into him. He bucked his hips involuntarily into her, and she moved her lips to his neck, sucking at his skin hungrily. 

“Mmm. This is nothing new. You’ve been doing this to me for quite a long time, now.” He bucked himself into her again, this time on purpose, savoring the noises she made into his neck. “You know, it’s hard for a young boy in love with his professor to fall asleep, when all he can do when he gets back to his quarters is think about her.” One hand still moving up and down her side, he pushed aside her skirt with the other, reaching to grab her thigh, then moved his other hand up into her hair. He pulled her away from his neck with a gentle force before leaning in, breathing up to her ear. 

He slid his hand outwards from under her dress to cup one of her breasts, gently kneading it through the soft fabric of her dress, thumb exploring to find the hardness of her nipple, instead feeling what could only be patterns of lace. “Dressed up, are we?” he murmured, pleasantly surprised. 

“You’ll have to find out for yourself.” She played coy, running her hands up and down his chest, fiddling with the buttons of his jacket, slowly unbuttoning them one by one. As she reached the last button, he dropped his arms to his sides and slipped the jacket off, letting it drop to the floor. 

Underneath, he wore a soft short-sleeved undershirt, tight across his pectoral muscles and biceps. Byleth leaned back and took him in, her eyes unable to find a place to rest in the over-supply of stimulation. 

“Now,” he continued, “how do I take this thing off of you? My patience is wearing thin, but I don’t want to damage it.” He squeezed both of her breasts then moved both of his hands up to her shoulders, his thumbs resting at the base of her neck. She shivered as he started to stroke them across her collabones. 

She reluctantly got to her feet and grabbed the skirt of the dress, pulling it up above her head in a fluid motion. Underneath - Dimitri was happy to see his guess was right - she wore a navy-colored lace bra with matching panties that framed the cheeks of her round ( _oh so round_ he thought) ass. 

“Come back here.” He commanded, patting his thighs, then putting his hands behind his head cockily. 

“Hmm. Make me.” She smiled wide, exhilarated in the feeling of her own boldness. 

Dimitri stood up, stepping towards her quickly before scooping her body up in his arms and throwing her onto the pile of pillows on the surface of his bed. She could feel the fabric of her panties completely soaked through by his aggressiveness, filthy growls of desire as he stood in front of her, running his hands up and down her entire body, slipping fingers into her waistband teasingly before kneeling over her and peppering her collarbone with kisses and bites. 

“You have no idea,” he breathed, “how many times I’ve imagined you here, in my bed. How many times I’ve finished myself off, just thinking about you.” He rubbed his erection against her thigh as she pulled his head down. 

“Kiss me more.”

He complied, still running his hands up and down her _perfect_ body. He unhooked her front-clasp bra, letting it fall to the bed, then moved his mouth down to take her nipple between his lips, rolling the other one between his fingers. The sounds she was making were more beautiful than music, and he felt devilish at the way he exploited her sensitivity just to hear more. The way she grabbed at his forearms, leaving unintended scratches bolstered him. 

He pushed himself up on his arms over her, watching her face as she looked at him with slight disappointment. “Come back.” She said with mock-despair, an adorable frown on her face. 

He reached out to her mouth with his hands, and pulled down her lower lip with his thumb. “You look so beautiful laying there for me, you know that?” He pressed his erection into her again, then moved a hand down back down under the waistband of her panties, feeling her hip bones. “I love seeing you all blushy and cute like this. You look so innocent, I almost - _almost_ feel bad for the thoughts I’m having about you.” Ravenously, he leaned back in to kiss her over and over again. 

She reached down to unbutton his pants. “Let me touch you,” she begged, tugging at the legs of his slacks in an attempt to slide them off of him. 

He obliged, and stood back up off the bed to take them off. 

Byleth wasn’t sure what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t the sheer _size_ of him. Even hidden by his boxers, his bulge was enormous, and for whatever reason, she felt the intense urge to leap off the bed after him and press her hands to it. 

“Someone can’t keep her hands to herself.” He mused, nipping at her earlobe again. 

“Can I…”

“You can do whatever you want.” He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. 

She gently pulled the band of his boxers downwards and over his hardness, still in awe at the size. She touched at his head, moving her thumb in circles, spreading the drops of forming precum that had wet the cloth of his boxers around. He moaned into her ear, causing her to move her hands to his shaft, sliding up and down slowly.

“You’re bigger than I even imagined,” she marvelled.

“You’ve thought about me, have you?” He purred. 

“Maybe even more than you’ve thought about me.” She wagered playfully. 

“I do not believe that’s even possible.” He pulled his shirt off in a fluid motion, then pushed her back onto the bed and reached down to stroke her over her panties.

“A man can get used to this, Byleth.” he said, pressing two fingers in, rubbing her clit through the fabric. She gasped loudly as he moved in circles, her breathing heavy and so full of small, sweet, noises. He couldn’t help but move up and lap them up from between her lips. He pushed the fabric of the underwear aside and ran his fingers up her slit, reveling in her shivers, his fingers slick. 

He placed one of his fingers in his mouth, savoring the taste of her, salty and sweet and absolutely _made_ of sex. He moved his hand back downward and slowly inserted two of his fingers into her, causing her to inhale sharply and gyrate herself on him desperately. 

“Oh, Dimitri…oh…oh Goddess…” her head was thrown back on the bed, her hair splayed across pillows. Her cheeks were flushed red, her eyes shut and lips slightly parted in ecstasy as she bounced on his fingers. 

“You feel so good, Byleth. So warm. So wet.” The pace of his breathing increased as he slid his fingers in and out of her, faster. He wanted to lean down and kiss her again, but he couldn’t get enough of watching her face contort with pleasure, the moans escaping her lips getting louder and more distracted by the moment. 

“Please.” She begged, reaching down to place a hand at his dick. “Please.”

“I can’t give you what you want if you don’t use your words,” He teased. 

“You. Inside.” 

He pretended to ponder her question, and pulled his fingers out of her while doing so, pleased by the high-pitched whine he elicited. “No, I don’t think so. Not yet.” He chastised her, then pulled her legs to the edge of the bed easily. “I’m still hungry.”

He buried his face into her warmth, first licking up and down, then sucking her clit with intensity. Gently, he parted her with his fingers, then slid them back into her, slowly moving in and out as he sucked and nibbled at her. 

A mix of incomprehensible syllables flowed from her mouth as he kept pace, reaching his unoccupied hand up to play with a breast. He took delight in how _liquid_ she had become, writhing. He mused. He didn’t expect her to be a noisy one, but he was not complaining in the slightest. 

He savored her taste for as long as he was able to, only pulled up by her begging again for him inside of her. 

“Who ever thought I’d have the Ashen Demon a quivering mess on my bed, begging for me to fuck her?” He laughed and straddled her, placing soft kisses over her lips and jawline. 

“And who thought I’d be in the Prince’s bed while he bent over backwards to pleasure me?” She leaned into his neck and breathed him in deeply as he guided himself to her entrance, playing with himself for a moment, rubbing his head in circles on her clit. 

Slowly, he placed his head at her entrance, and began to push himself in. “Tell me if this hurts, okay? I promise, I’ll stop. I only want to make you feel good.” She nodded, then let out a blissful moan as he pushed himself in deeper, then out again. 

“Deeper.” She insisted. “Harder.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He frowned. 

“I want it. Please. I’ll tell you if it hurts.” She grabbed at his hips, trying to pull him in even deeper. 

He couldn’t say no to a lady, especially with the surprising filthiness that had entered her voice. With a practiced motion, he lifted her legs over his shoulders and pushed himself further into her, waiting for her to indicate any signs of discomfort. They did not come, instead, replaced with a drawn out sigh of pleasure, so he buried himself completely to his hilt, letting a moan escape as he felt her around him.

She moved her hands backwards from his hips to his ass, feeling the curves as he slid in and out of her. “Oh Goddess. Dimitri. Please. More. Please.”

Her words had started to break up, punctuated by his own growls of contentment. He leaned back to his favorite place on Earth, her mouth, and took his time, drawing shapes with his tongue on her lips, tasting her skin, feeling the plumpness as he pressed his tongue down. The way she hummed against his mouth was more than intoxicating, and he told her so. How pretty her noises were, how beautiful she looked, how much he loved seeing himself inside of her. How he had dreamed of this, time and time again, yet nothing had even come close to how good she felt around him. 

“Close…Dimitri…I’m…” she dug her nails into him. “Oh Goddess. Please. Keep. Keep go-going.”

“I’m close too.” He whispered into her ear, holding her tightly in his arms. He pressed his lips to hers as he continued to thrust, as if she was the final glass of water in all the deserts of the world. 

Moments later, it was as if fireworks had gone off. They both tangled up in each other sweatily, tracing patterns on each others skin, a mess of exhaustion and elation. They laughed and placed soft kisses on each other, slowly fading off to sleep in each other’s arms.


	9. A Dangerous Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **No matter the softness he found in Byleth, the beast would always return to Dimitri**
> 
> _His heart both flew and plummeted, soared to the clouds and sunk down into the deepest part of the earth. Perhaps he did deserve to suffer. But he owed it to Byleth that he would respect her, respect her own decisions. She had decided to love him, to make him happy. He wanted her more than anything. He would do anything he could, for her._
> 
> _The beast had poked itself back into his mind._
> 
> _Roughly, it ate at his thoughts. A battle was coming up. The softness of the night before had been driven into a sort of desperation, a hunger for the woman he had thought about, night upon night. They may die, in the days to come, in their attempt to take back the capital._
> 
> _His fear, his worry, his anger, his darkness, all combined with his love for her, his desire for her smile, his want for her pleasure - he wanted to make sure, no matter the cost, that she knew that he would move mountains, fill valleys, _kill_ for her happiness. He would not turn her into a ghost. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit more filler before they head to Fhirdiad!
> 
> Today, my fiance told me "I think Dimitri makes up for his minor crest with his major dick" and you know what...

The sun broke through the curtains, illuminating the pair on the bed. Still entwined in each other, Dimitri held Byleth in a protective embrace, her head resting on his chest.

Dimitri’s eye fluttered open, his long lashes framing his sleepy eye as he looked down at Byleth, first with surprise, then with joyful contentment. 

_So it wasn’t a dream._

He had never seen her more peaceful than in this moment, curled up on him. And he hadn’t felt so content, maybe ever. It was the first time in a very long time that he had slept peacefully, without the voices waking him. He had drowned in the ocean, and it was the most blissful of deaths. 

“Mmmm.” Byleth awoke, blinking blearily a few times and sticking her tongue slightly out of her mouth. She puffed her cheeks out, then looked up at Dimitri, her smile reaching from ear to ear. “Oh, hello there sir.” 

“Hello there, beautiful” His expression was gentle, his grin almost dopey as he reached down to play with her hair. “How did you sleep?”

“Very well, thank you for asking.” She giggled. “A very good looking man helped me relieve a lot of stress yesterday.”

“What a coincidence. I spent last evening with a lovely woman. She looked much like you.” He kissed her on the top of the head.

She could feel him on her thigh, half-hard again. In the light from the window, she spent some time examining the scars that slashed across his battered body, tracing them lightly with her fingers. Last night, though only focused on him, she had barely noticed them. “Though I wish they didn’t exist, I like how these look on you.”

He, in turn, brought his hands down to the scars on her hips. Her body, just like his, was forged by battle. “In a way, I think without these, we wouldn’t necessarily be who we are today. They are a product of our struggles and successes. A reminder of our journey, this war, and what it means to us.” _That you see me as beautiful, that you see me as whole, even after all I have been through. That means more than anything, to me._

“You are right. Though I wish it were easier, the scars tell our story.” A particularly deep gash crossed across his chest. She placed her hand on it.

“As far as stories go, Byleth, this may be my favorite chapter.” He held her tight. “You have taught me to stand up to my ghosts. You have taught me to live for myself. And you have given me another reason to fight, to redeem myself. I will never erase my sins, but I will strive to not only be a leader worthy of my people, but a man worthy of you.” _I do not know if I will be worthy. But since you have promised yourself that you will have me, I will not let you break that vow to yourself._

“I want nothing more than to support you, to be by your side.” She reached her head up to kiss him passionately, running her hands up his chest and pressing her thigh into his erection. 

With a smile, he pulled her on top of him, moving her body so she was straddling him. “I like that we have a little bit of a secret. The war council could never have predicted what we would be up to when they insisted that we rest up before leaving for Fhirdiad.” He pulled one hand down to stroke her thighs, causing her to shiver and writhe.

She ground herself into him playfully. 

“If you insist on teasing me like that, I have no choice but to take matters into my own hands.” He smirked and grabbed her hips. 

“If I am “matters”, then please, you are welcome to take me with more than just your hands.” 

He smiled deviously. 

\- - -

Exhilarated, both energetic and completely spent, the two giggled as they cleaned themselves up, reaching over to tickle the other or plant a sloppy kiss on any reachable body part. 

Byleth held up Dimitri’s discarded under-shirt from the evening before. “What if I walked out of your chambers wearing your shirt? I would love to see the reactions. How do we even explain that?”

“A commander and his right-hand should be as in sync as possible for effective planning and strategy, especially on the battlefield." Dimitri spoke with mock severity, as if addressing the war council. “So, Byleth and I have decided, for the betterment of all, to lock ourselves up in my chambers and practice some hand-to-hand sparring. In my bed.” 

Byleth giggled. “If you had the cheek to say that, as your former professor and sparring instructor, I would have to give you a one-on-one remedial lesson.” She pulled her dress on back over her head.

He grabbed her and spun her around in his arms. “Oh, how awful. I have never once fantasized about private lessons with my beautiful professor.” He gave an exaggerated pout.

She kissed him as they laughed, both floating on the fluffiest of clouds. 

“Come now. It is nearly 11. We should be making our way to the council meeting.” He took her hand in his.

“I am excited to raise suspicion as we arrive together.” She grinned.

“We are predictable workaholics. They will just assume we were defying orders and we met for some work, pre-council.” He shrugged. 

“Oh, but Hilda and Sylvain will be giving us such looks.” She laughed. “And I _know_ they will corner us after. I will make sure to give an accurate account of our night. _Yes, we looked over documents and played chess. I fell asleep on the table after eating too much cheese._ Very romantic.”

“Mmm. I wish we could just show up hand-in-hand. I want to show the world that you are mine.” Dimitri kissed her again. “Now, let’s be off.”

\- - -

“So, to summarize - Gilbert has finished negotiations with House Fraldarius, and we will travel through their territory to Fhirdiad. We shall ensure we have a path straight to the castle. From there, we will have to make sure we are one hundred percent ready - because from there, the journey to take back the Kingdom is official. We depart in the afternoon, tomorrow, stopping for camp at night and marching into the city at dawn, the day after next. We will finish making our preparations as soon as we can. Byleth and I have spent some time together-” He paused to indicate at her, a glowing expression slipping out through what the others called his “commander mode”. 

Sylvain stifled a laugh, causing Dimitri to glare at him with a scowl, before continuing, “-and we have more or less drawn out our plans for battle. We intend to map out some final contingencies and emergencies. We will give everyone a preliminary briefing tomorrow and we will go into more detail as we march. Did I miss anything?”

Everyone shook their heads. 

“I don’t think so.” Gilbert clapped Dimitri on the shoulder affectionately. “I am thankful the hard work that both you and Byleth have done. We would not have made it this far, especially without her.” He lowered his head at her in appreciation, his smile reaching his eyes. “Now, let’s get to it. This is a decisive mission.”

As was usual, the members of the council spent some time chattering idly, leaving in small groups slowly, leaving Byleth and Dimitri in the room with a very smug Sylvain and a Hilda who could barely contain her excitement. 

“Well, hello there lovebirds.” Sylvain winked and walked over to the two of them, grabbing Dimitri in an affectionate headlock and ruffling his hair. “How was dinner?”

“Dinner was fine. Thank you for your concern, Sylvain.” Dimitri maneuvered himself out of Sylvain’s grasp, placing a gentle thwack on the back of his friend’s head. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have some contingencies to map out.”

Before he could grab Byleth’s arm to orchestrate a quick escape, Hilda stepped between them and the door, eyes narrowed. “Not so fast! I keep Byleth for lunch. You two gentlemen can go do whatever you need to.” 

Dimitri sighed, resigned. “Sylvain? Care to join me for a meal? I will not be answering any of your questions, but we can ignore each other from across the table.” 

“It would be my pleasure, Your Highness.” He winked again. “I’ll leave you ladies to it.”

\- - -

Hilda had insisted on them taking their lunches out to an abandoned corner of a courtyard, so they could talk undisturbed. 

“Soooooo, Professor?” She leaned forward, almost vibrating with excitement. “Tell me _everything_!”

“Well. We talked for a bit. We ate dinner, talked more, ate dessert, talked a bit more, then we went to bed. Not much to say.” The flush that rose up to her cheeks clued Hilda otherwise. 

“C’moooooon, you can’t hide it from me. You were practically _glowing_ as you walked in earlier. And he would _not_ stop looking at you. Also, you’re still wearing the same dress as yesterday. And you went to bed in the same room.” She gave Byleth a cutesy wink. “So?”

Byleth gave her an embarassed smile. “Well. I took your advice.”

“Aaaaaand?” Hilda grabbed her shoulders. “AND?”

“Shhhh.” Byleth looked around furtively. “Okay. I had a lot of fun.”

“And? Just fun?” If Hilda was writing her a letter, there would be at least 20 question marks at the end of each sentence. “How big was he? How good was he? Did he make you finish?”

Byleth held out her hands in front of her. “About this long, and-”

“Goddess, you can _not_ be serious?!” Incredulous, Hilda held her hands out next to Byleth’s. “You’ve got to be kidding me. _No one_ is that big. Ouch!”

“Oh, he was.” Though her blush deepened, her confidence rose slightly as she continued. “And you know how big his hands are? Well, those _fingers_ …” 

\- - -

“Well?” Sylvain slid a plate of steaming food to Dimitri. “Was I right, or was I right?”

“Shut up.” 

“You’re beginning to sound a little like Felix there.”

Dimitri sighed. “I owe you one, Sylvain. We had a lovely evening. She was quite taken by the set-up. I said it. Are you happy?”

“More than.” Sylvain cheerfully shoved a forkful of food in his mouth. “How long have I been telling you that I just want to see you with a lady on your arm? And now, you go and out-do everyone with not only the prettiest, but the most _interesting_ woman in the Kingdom. Make me the best man at the wedding, will you? You owe me that much.”

“Slow down. We’ve had one date.”

“One date, and six years of mutual pining. I’m surprised you already haven’t gotten on one knee.”

“I’d like to make sure we survive this, first.” Dimitri shrugged, though internally troubled. _If we make it through, am I even worth a queen such as her? Or would I have driven her away by then? It would not be right to trap her at my side, yet, more than anything, I know a life with her would be more than I could ever hope for. I hunger for her._ Something strange rose within him, something aggressive that tangled up in his love. 

“If I know anyone who can make it through this war, you’re the bastard who can. I literally thought you were fucking dead for years. And then you were the biggest asshole on the planet. But you’ll find a way to make it through. We all stuck by you at your lowest, because we know who you are, deep down, Dimitri.” Full of sincerity, Sylvain frowned. “So please. Trust us, too.”

Dimitri nodded. “I can never thank you enough for that. I do not know why you did not turn away.”

“We have been friends since we were children. I know who you are, even if you pretend sometimes that you are unknowable. No matter how tortured you are, you are the kindest man I’ve met.” Sylvain’s expression was soft. “And, no matter how much you tell yourself you do not deserve that same kindness, I believe you do. More than anyone.” He shrugged. “Don’t let me get to your head. We were talking about your date, remember?” His smile was rougish, yet still soft. 

“What would you like me to say? We spoke. We ate. We bedded each other. We went to sleep. We woke, and the cruel, cruel woman seduced me again.” He laughed. “It was lovely.”

Sylvain’s grin had grown wider than the mountain of food on his plate. “I could tell during the meeting. You kept glancing over to her, as if you were secretive. I have never seen love in your eyes, Dimitri.” 

\- - -

Alone in his room, Dimitri sat back at his desk. She would be joining him in an hour for them to wrap up preparations - it felt like he was back at the ball, hoping for a dance. 

His heart felt lighter than a bird, lifted into the sky by the sweet winds of Byleth - yet, something still did not feel right, to him. He shut his eyes tightly. The ghosts, though they had taken leave for some time, had started sifting back into his head, stronger than ever. 

_You shall never be rid of us, Prince. She is but a reminder of what you are not. What you can never be, and who you can never be. She is the righteous warrior. You are a murderer, a bloodless, shameless, killer. You have taken the lives of so many, yet you still stand? You still deign to walk the earth that others cannot, under the guise of redemption? Do not pretend. You know this life is not for you. You know that your time will come, and we will welcome you to death the same way you welcomed us. With chill, with blades, with rememberance of all you have lost._

He scratched his pocketknife into the back of his hand, pretending to himself that it was idle motion. He did not draw blood - she would notice, when she took his hand next. Wretch that he was, he still knew that she would take his hand. 

His heart both flew and plummeted, soared to the clouds and sunk down into the deepest part of the earth. Perhaps he did deserve to suffer. But he owed it to Byleth that he would respect her, respect her own decisions. She had decided to love him, to make him happy. He wanted her more than anything. He would do anything he could, for her. 

The beast had poked itself back into his mind. 

Roughly, it ate at his thoughts. A battle was coming up. The softness of the night before had been driven into a sort of desperation, a hunger for the woman he had thought about, night upon night. They may die, in the days to come, in their attempt to take back the capital. 

His fear, his worry, his anger, his darkness, all combined with his love for her, his desire for her smile, his want for her pleasure - he wanted to make sure, no matter the cost, that she knew that he would move mountains, fill valleys, _kill_ for her happiness. He would not turn her into a ghost. 

\- - -

As distracted as they were, both Dimitri and Byleth were masterful in their completion of their planning for the battle ahead. 

It had gotten late. The sun had set perhaps hours ago, leaving them to work by the light of the torch. The prince was ruthless in his tactical deliberation, his voice harsh as he detailed his thoughts. Scratching with quills, exchanging parchments, and discussing in low voices - every situation accounted for, every change in unit, every emergency, every underhanded tactic - they felt that they had completely exhausted the possibilities. 

The prince turned to his adviser. “Byleth. I think we are done here. Shall I escort you back to your quarters?”

“I…I actually was hoping I would be able to stay. Again. If that was okay with you.” She tapped her feet nervously. “I do not mean to presume.” 

“Of course. I want that, too.” His voice stuck in his throat for a moment, but then he held her by the wrist, pulling her in. “However, I am worried. I do not want to hurt you. I feel something in me that I do not trust - I am not gentle, right now.”

She noticed the look in his eye. It was almost the look of the man she had found in the ruins - but yet - there was something different about his hunger as he looked at her, raked over her body with his eyes. She remembered the strange feeling she had felt in the days that they had found each other. Animalistic as he was, there was something about the way he spoke of his desires that made her frustrated that he was not thinking of her. 

“Dimitri?”

“Yes?” 

She shuddered again at the depth of his voice. Something about the darkness in him, the ruthlessness she had sensed while they worked, had awoken a new part of her. It was the same feeling she felt when he threw her on the bed yesterday, a hunger to be his, for once in her life to not be in control - to let him have his way, to feel how much he loved her, how much he _wanted_ her. To not have to be the strong one. 

“How much do you want me?” She stepped towards him, slowly, taking her cloak off and tossing it to the ground. 

Instead of the soft caresses of yesterday, he wanted to take her, bend her over the desk and devour her. He wanted to kiss her, but this time, he wanted to run his lips across her body, marking her as his own. He wanted to pin her down to the bed by her wrists, feel her squirm under him as he made her feel more pleasure than she ever had in her life - overstimulate her, have her liquid in his arms as she moaned in his ears. 

“You play a dangerous game, asking me that.” He growled at her. “I told you. I cannot be gentle with you, tonight.”

“Then don’t be.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He took her hands in his. “I do not know yet how often I will become like this. I understand if you are worried, if you do not want to be around me. I have this…this urge to control the situation around me. To be the most powerful one in the room, to prove myself, to make others happy and do what is right. I want to be the one guiding things. It makes me angry. And I have always been physically stronger than others. So when you told me to take control, I did.”_
> 
> _She snuggled deeper into him. “I do not want to minimize your fears, Dimitri. You are being haunted, and as far as I understand, perhaps you will be for the rest of our lives. But you are not a rough man, or a cruel one. Even in your darkest, you cared for the orphans of the monastery. I saw you wrapping your cloak around one after she had fallen into the water.” She kissed his chest. “So much has been out of your power, and yet you have felt that much of what has befallen you is your fault. But it is not. Your life is your own, and there is still so much we cannot control.”_
> 
> _He stroked her hair gently, silently pondering her words. “Thank you for trying to see me as whole.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay one more chapter of filler before Fhirdiad. I just couldn't help but flesh out the end of the last chapter with a bit more smut. I _promise_ we will start digging back into a little bit more plot in the next chapter!

For a second, Dimitri pondered the meaning of her words, then grabbed her roughly towards him. “You do not know what you ask of me.” He growled. 

“Stop underestimating me.” She placed both her hands on his chest and pressed. “I have spent my whole life being in control of every single thing, hiding my desires, always alone. I have spent far too long worrying that you would not have me. So, make me yours, Dimitri. Take control. If you want me, then show me how much you do.” Her eyes brimmed with fire, challenging him. 

Without warning, Byleth pushed him away and dropped to her knees in front of him. There was intention in her wide eyes as she looked up at him pleadingly. He felt powerful in her willfull submissiveness, the way she unzipped him and wrapped her hands around his shaft. She placed his head inside of her mouth, licking at his precum hungrily. Slowly and deliberately, she looked directly in his eyes and slid her mouth down, licking and kissing downwards. 

Something inside of him snapped. 

He pulled her upwards and pushed her towards the desk, one hand holding her by her neck, the other grabbing at the curves of her ass. He squeezed, digging his nails into her, and leaned down to kiss her forcefully, grabbing her lips between his teeth, pushing her tongue aside to explore her mouth. She gasped with surprise and moaned into his mouth as he rubbed his hips in circles, grinding into her.

“Be good for me. You are mine.” His voice was dark, filled with warning. “I will take you as _I_ wish. If you want to take me in your mouth, you will have to beg me for it once I am done with you.”

A whine escaped from Byleth’s throat as he moved his hand from her neck to her breast, leaning his mouth into the vacant spot. The softness of his lips and his breath were taunting as he made his way down to her collarbone, where he gently bit and sucked, her sensitive skin already blossoming marks from his actions. She was sweet, the taste of her on his mouth was made of flowers and wine and honey and he ran his mouth over her as if he was going to finish her off at any minute. 

He turned her around so she was bent over the desk and pushed his hardness into her ass, moving it up and down between her cheeks as he kissed at her neck. She reached a hand down behind her to touch his exposed length, but he slapped it away and pinned it to the table in front of her. “No. Not until I say so.” He grabbed at the neck of her blouse, pulling it downward as hard as he could. Buttons popped, falling to the floor, and the shirt floated down in shreds. He was rock hard against her, feral growls as he grabbed and bit at her exposed skin, his calloused hands running over her desperately. He gave her bra the same treatment as her shirt, carelessly ripping it off of her in his quest to touch every inch of her body, feel her skin as she squirmed under his mouth and fingers. He roughly spun her around again and sipped on the noises she made, running his tongue across her lips, tangling his fingers into her hair. 

“You are mine, Byleth. Your body is mine. I will take it all for myself. I will hear you moan my name with such force that you go hoarse, I will watch as you come again and again by my doing, then I will finally use you until I am done.” 

“Dimitri-” She moaned as he licked up her ear and fumbled with her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers. “I want to touch you. Please.”

“Mmmm, I love the way you _beg_ for me.” He took a step back from her, delighting in the way she reached for him. He grabbed her wrists, restraining her, then placed her hands on his hardness. “Only because you’re being a good girl.”

She ran her thumb over his head, his skin velvety smooth as she moved to pump her hands up and down, savoring his stiffness and warmth. He leaned in to kiss her, teasing her by pulling away each time she bit at his lips. Being able to feel her raw desire, the want emanating from her, was something he never believed he would feel other than in his deepest fantasies of her, the ones he imagined during his loneliest nights. 

He moaned with pure lust at the way she touched him and the way she looked at him while she did it. Her eyes were so filled with desire and hunger. He couldn’t take it anymore. 

He picked her up easily, and threw her on the bed again, the same way he had the night before. He slid her pants off of her without complaint, then ran his fingers softly over the lips of her vulva over her panties, teasing her with his touch. She shivered. 

“Who knew you would be so depraved, so wet at the thought of being tossed around and used by a monster?” He gave a bark of a laugh as he knelt down in front of her. He held her hips down with one hand, restraining her from bucking them, and slid his fingers into her easily. Curling them upwards again and again, he let his thumb rest over her swollen clit, gently swirling as she gasped loudly at each motion he made. He continued to press down on her, and for some strange reason, his force stopping her from moving and gyrating her hips made her moan even louder, her wetness soaking his fingers. She grabbed at the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer to her. “I want to feel your skin against mine, Dimitri. Please.”

He did not argue with her as he stood back and stripped slowly, watching her watch him, her eyes resting on his chest, his defined abs, the muscles of his arms, resting on his thighs, his dick, then back up to his face. Her face was a mixture of lust and pleasure, want and desperation, she watched him as if she was a wolf who had not eaten in days. _She wants me. She wants Dimitri the beast, the same way she wants Dimitri, the man. She wants me for who I am, no matter who I am._

But instead of leaning over her and pressing himself to her, as she had hoped, he knelt down and buried his face in her folds. Her mumbles of complaint turned into ones of pleasure. He continued to press down on her hips with a hand, his thumb stroking at her skin. He reached his other to her mouth and placed his fingers between her lips. She sucked at them dutifully, the exotic flavor of her own sex on him sending her walls tightening around nothing in particular. 

Her breath hitched as his pressure increased. He slid his fingers in and out of her mouth, feeling her messily swirl her tongue at them, then slowly withdrew them and traced down her body. Her back arched as he scraped his nails softly at her sides before bringing his hand back down by his mouth and inserting his fingers back into her. 

“I’m…I’m getting close…Dim-Dimitri…please…” 

He continued to lick and suck and curl his fingers, feeling her clench around him, delicious and swollen and warm and wet. _You are mine, Byleth. I will devour you._

“Oh my goddess, Dimitri-” she screamed his name as she came, drenching his mouth and fingers. But he did not stop. He kept pumping in and out of her, his mouth moving fearlessly as her words stuttered and fell, again and again. He ripped a second orgasm from her body with his onslaught, then a third, before sliding his mouth back up to hers, chest-to-chest. _Again. Again. Call my name, beg for me, writhe for me._

She trembled in his arms, looking up at him desperately as he kissed her. “I did not know that was possible.” 

He smirked at her and kissed her neck. “And I did not know it was possible to make a woman scream so loudly.” _And I will make you scream for me again and again._ Seeing her laying there, flushed on the bed sent him into a frenzy. He had gone far too long without being inside of her. Easily, he lay on his back and pulled her on top of him. “Ride me. Now.” 

She leaned down, placing her mouth by his neck as she guided him to her entrance with her hands. As she pressed herself onto him, she let out a wanton moan directly into his ear, feeling his nails dig into her hips with lust. Grinning, she sat forward and sunk down all the way onto him, gyrating her hips as she reached his base. He groaned as she started to move up and down, and placed her hands on her own chest, squeezing and playing with her breasts as he watched her bounce. She made a show of her genuine moans, peeking down from heavily lidded eyes to watch his face as he groaned, eyes taking her in with pure gluttony. 

She mewled as he raked his nails across her thighs, leaving scratches before reaching a hand down to play with her clitoris again while she rode him. His other hand reached up to wrap around her neck, making sure to press enough to exert his own power, but not hard enough to stifle her airways. 

“Come for me again,” he commanded. He grabbed her hips and slid her up and down his shaft himself, setting his own pace. “Come for me, Byleth.”

She reached down and dug her hands into his hair as he thrust, the sensations on her overstimulated clit overwhelming her as he brought her to the edge yet-again from inside of her. She bit down on his shoulder, screaming as she came again, this time, with him leaking out of her. 

Breathing heavily, she shook as she sat back upwards, and teasingly contracted her walls around him again. With a gasp, he pulled her mouth down to his. 

“Do I not get to take you in my mouth?” Even after all he had done to her, her voice was disappointed. 

“I could not stand the sight of you laying there without me inside of you. Next time.” He ran his thumb across her lower lip. “I have imagined what it would be like for you to beg for me on your knees, though.” 

He was devilish as he kissed her again. 

\- - -

Dimitri thought there was something to be said for indulging your inner monster. Whatever had snapped in him earlier felt sedated now - he was still on edge, sure, but the fact that Byleth not only accepted, but _wanted_ the monster in him - that was more than enough to prove his ghosts wrong, at least a little.

She slipped into a silk chemise that she had brought with her in the bag she had packed for the night (he noted that it was smart of her not to wear it earlier, it would have gotten ripped to shreds). It was soft on his hands as he gently drew her into him, as they lay together, peppering her face with kisses. She was still sweet, even with the weak salt of sweat on her skin. She was still his ocean in the desert. 

“I have felt dark all day. If I had to guess…this will likely come in waves as I still come to terms with myself.” He took her hands in his. “I do not know yet how often I will become like this. I understand if you are worried, if you do not want to be around me. I have this…this urge to control the situation around me. To be the most powerful one in the room, to prove myself, to make others happy and do what is right. I want to be the one guiding things. It makes me angry. And I have always been physically stronger than others. So when you told me to take control, I did.” 

She snuggled deeper into him. “I do not want to minimize your fears, Dimitri. You are being haunted, and as far as I understand, perhaps you will be for the rest of our lives. But you are not a rough man, or a cruel one. Even in your darkest, you cared for the orphans of the monastery. I saw you wrapping your cloak around one after she had fallen into the water.” She kissed his chest. “So much has been out of your power, and yet you have felt that much of what has befallen you is your fault. But it is not. Your life is your own, and there is still so much we cannot control.”

He stroked her hair gently, silently pondering her words. “Thank you for trying to see me as whole.” 

“And…” She grinned shyly, looking up at him. “To tell you the truth, I would not mind if you took me like that every time. I have had this…hunger in me. For you. I crave to be the object of your desire. I am not sure how to explain it. But I like it when I am thrown about by you.”

“I will keep it in mind.” He tickled her at her waist, and she jolted, giggling furiously. “However, there is a slight downside to me feeling so…complete around you.”

She furrowed her brow ( _adorably_ , he noted). 

“I forget I only have one eye. I try to wink at you, but it just seems that I am blinking.” 

Bemusement played across his lips as she cocked her head and broke out into tinkling, infectious laughter. 

\- - -

They did not have time to themselves the next morning, as they were to set off to Fhirdiad in the afternoon. Every once in a while though, Dimitri would try to sneak a kiss to Byleth as she passed by him, perhaps running an errand in the training hall to give a knight her orders, or in the dining hall as she made sure all rations were accounted for. 

He was fairly certain that Gilbert had caught him at it at least once, but the knight passed by them with nothing more than a knowing smile upon his face as he went by to make his own final preparations. 

\- - -

As the Kingdom Army set off from the monastery, Dimitri held Byleth’s hand tightly. They walked, side by side in the front. A decisive battle was approaching. 

And he would not let go of her until he had to.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before, during, and after the battle at Fhirdiad. Dimitri takes his place as king, with the intention that it is his way of vowing to do right by his people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a dialogue heavy part of the game, so my apologies for the slight lack of OC as I try to interpret the story in my own way without deviating from what is said. Hope you enjoy the pre and post fluff, and my interpretations of the game's text!

They made camp not long after the sun had set, a mere two hours march away from the palace, which would be their last leg in the morning. 

“I will not allow you two to keep watch again!” Manuela chastised Dimitri and Byleth as they announced that everyone else should rest up. “More than anyone else in this camp, we need _both of you_ completely functional. So no. I will ask two of the Knights to keep watch tonight.”

She shut down Dimitri’s protests with a sharp wave. “I will not take no for an answer. The best way to be useful is to be at your best tomorrow, Your Highness. For your people.”

“She does have a point, Dimitri. As much as we’ve gotten used to keeping our eyes out for the whole group, there are too many things at stake for us to not be completely sharp at the Palace.” Byleth nodded, reluctantly agreeing with Manuela. 

“Have you two set up your tent yet?” 

The implication of the singular tent did not pass by them. 

“We, err-” It was the return of the tomato cheeks as Byleth attempted to form a response. “Well…”

Manuela’s laugh was loud and kind as she wrapped an arm around Byleth’s shoulders. “I have a sixth sense for young lovers. It’s hard to miss how his Highness looks at you. It was harder to miss the kiss he passed you when he thought no one was looking, when we took a break earlier.” She winked. “Your secret is safe with me. You two are always the last to bed and the first to rise, anyway. No one who already doesn’t know won’t find out.”

“Well, now that sounds like even more reason for us to at least keep first watch.” Dimitri raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, hush. Go _review plans in case of anomalous situations_ together or something that sounds commander-y, so you can go get some alone time for a bit.” She shepherded them along towards the tents. “Off with you.”

\- - -

Dimitri and Byleth both sat cross-legged on the floor of the tent, making sure again and again that there was nothing they had forgotten. Both were antsy, nervous as they went through the same questions to each other again and again. 

_“What if that unit gets taken out?”_

_“What if they bring in reinforcements from this side?”_

_“What if that battalion tries to implement a gambit but it fails?”_

They both sighed after the third or fourth round of quizzing. 

“I can’t think of anything else we can do right now to prepare.” Byleth placed her hand on top of his on the floor, resignation in her eyes. 

“I agree. I just cannot stand the thought though that there may be something we have forgotten, or that there is something critical we have not covered that could save lives.” Dimitri clenched a fist and placed it to his forehead. “I cannot help but place the burden on myself. I must do all I can.”

Byleth scooted over on the ground to sit next to him, wrapping both her arms the best she could around his broad figure, snuggling into his thick cloak. “You are doing all you can. _We_ are doing all we can, together. I won’t let you fail.” She placed a kiss on his cheek.

\- - -

“Fhirdiad…It has been a lifetime since I was here last.” Dimitri’s fists curled tightly, his nails digging crescents into his calloused palms. In the morning light, he and Byleth stood facing the city visible in the distance. “Five years ago, in fact. On the day before my execution, when Dedue helped me escape from prison.” He looked up into the sky, as if somehow, it would open up and take away the excruciating feeling of simply remembering. He then looked down at Byleth, as if maybe she could, instead. 

She caressed his cheek with a soft hand made of velvet, a feather’s touch. Unspeaking as she often was, she reached out to bundle one of his fists in both her hands. 

“I killed soldiers from my homeland,” he continued, eye downturned, “stole weapons from their corpses, and made my escape, soaked in their blood.” His voice cracked as he chewed at his cheek, unable to stop the flood in his mind. “To think this is how I would return to the city of my birth, after all that has happened…”

As carefully as she could, Byleth pried the fingers of his held fist apart, slipping one of her hands into his. She gripped at him with what she hoped was a comforting touch, reaching her other hand up to swipe away a stray fall of his golden straw hair. “I’m proud of you.” 

He shut his eye tightly, as if holding back tears. “I do not deserve that. If not for you or Rodrigue, I would still be lost…” _It only serves as a reminder of what I have done. I crave your praise, yet the thought of praise disgusts me as I have not earned it._ “I am glad to have you at my side. From the bottom of my heart…I am forever grateful.” He pulled her in for a kiss, one arm around her waist, the other still holding her hand tightly. _I have not paid my dues, yet, here you stand, your hand in mine. With full knowledge of my heart._

Still hand in hand, they pulled apart from each other slightly to face the other. 

“Let’s win this, Professor. Let’s all make it out alive and celebrate our victory.” _Let this be my first act of penance. Let me atone to my people, let me earn the right to be worthy of them._

Her smile, slight and beautiful, pulled at his heart as she nodded silently. He would never get tired of the simple upturn of her lips or the way it reached her eyes. 

A polite throat-clearing indicated that they should pull away from each other as Gilbert approached, twinkle in his eye not going un-noticed. “Your Highness. The path to the castle has been cleared. We are making preparations to advance.” He nodded at both of them with clear intent. “Say the word, and we march.”

Byleth nodded back then turned to Dimitri. “Give the order.”

“Yes…” he looked out distantly then returned himself to the present. “Let us begin.”

They stepped back towards the camped army, standing together, a unified wall against the Empire. 

“Everyone!” Dimitri called, his voice thunderous as he gathered the attention of all. “Listen well!”

Byleth reached out, her hand squeezing his in solidarity. 

“This battle is for all that the Empire stole from us. It is a fight to reclaim the days of peace we once enjoyed. I give you but two commands — stay alive,” he held up a finger, “and follow you heart.” He held up a second. “That is all I ask.”

A wave of chatter rose in the air, a wind of hope floating from the voices of the many. 

“The gates to the Kingdom capital are open. Join me! It is time to take back our home!” Dimitri raised a fist into the air, pumping it proudly as cheers erupted. 

Insecure as he could be, he was still a commander, _the_ commander, through-and-through. 

\- - -

The scout that had been sent ahead reported that the city was in full insurrection-mode, knowing that the Kingdom Army was on it’s way. 

Dimitri was silent as he processed the information. _I will not let them down. I will show them that their rebellion is appreciated. I will show them that I am here for them._

Byleth squeezed his hand. “Your people are awaiting you, Your Highness. The Empire does not have enough forces to divide their troops between a rebellion and a battle. We must fight for them, make sure they do not die in their fire to support us.”

Dimitri bit at his lips. “Yes. You are right. We must be smart.”

They reached the entrance to the city in record time, only to be met by what looked like metal titans in the streets. Mages and armed soldiers stood stoically as a barrier to entry. 

“Cornelia.” Dimitri hissed. “Of course she would be trying to prevent us from moving forward.” _Witch. Traitor. Menace._

“It’s a good thing we planned for an obstruction.” Byleth nodded. She could feel his blood boiling at the mere thought of the woman. “Dedue, Felix, Annette, Mercedes - up front.” She cocked her head toward the city walls. “We will make short work of this.”

“Advance!” Dimitri roared, as they got into formation. “Smash that traitor Cornelia and reclaim the capital!” He looked at Byleth and in a low voice, vowed to her. “I will not lose…I swear it by the blood in my veins…”

The resulting battle was tedious. The Titanus in the streets were heavily armored, and Cornelia had set up Viskams in the streets that sent bursts of electricity crackling through the air at them at even the slightest motion. Nonetheless, they pressed forward, Dimitri ripping his lance through the air as though the world were paper, a feral growl escaping through his lips as they approached Cornelia’s command. 

“Hm. I can’t quite say that I’m pleased to meet you.” She greeted Byleth with a scornful tilt of the head as they approached. “Though I do know quite a lot about you. It would be nice if we could catch up a little…But I’m afraid it’s time for you to die.”

Her lips warped into a gruesome grimace as she stood tall, feet shoulder width apart as she drew from the energy around her. With the force of her hate, she sent a ball of dark energy shooting their way, which Byleth quickly deflected as Dimitri tossed a javelin at the witch, piercing her armor and bowling her onto the ground, a small pool of blood forming under her. 

“Gah! So this is as far as I could get.” Pale, Cornelia spat at them. “Well, so be it. Still, I’ll give you a little gift…” She twisted her mouth into a frustratingly smug position as she indicated for them to come closer. 

“It’s over, Cornelia. If you have any last words, now is the time.” Dimitri’s voice was hate-filled as he loomed over the woman, his eye boring through her. _Though I would prefer to just end you now._

“Right you are. Very well…” her chuckle was infuriating. “I have an old tale that I would like you to hear, if I may. About something that happened ten years ago…”

Dimitri’s eye widened. _Goddess. Not that, anything but-_

“…Something Patricia said about how she wished to see her real daughter again, no matter who or what she had to sacrifice to do so…” She delighted outwardly at the way Dimitri’s face contorted at the mention of his mother. “And about how I made her wish come true, at the cost of the king’s head…”

“The king’s head?” Dimitri’s lance bent in his hands, the super-strength granted to him by his crest out of control. “You mean Duscur… You monster!” His shout was guttural as Byleth did her best to restrain him from moving forward to throttle Cornelia. “You mean to say that my father…everyone…was killed by my stepmother?!” He looked over at Dedue, anger and frustration cracking his voice. _Could my mother have done this? Could she have had it in her heart to slay my father, to bring a whole innocent nation to its knees? No. I cannot…I cannot…_

“That’s right.” Cornelia giggled. “Her family meant everything to her…You certainly know that feeling, do you not? Ah, poor little prince. Unloved by the only mother he ever knew…” She spat. “How pitiful.”

“How dare you!” Dimitri lunged forward, Dedue and Byleth now together grabbing at his arms and shoulders to hold him back. _I will have your head for your lies! Father, please, Father, tell me the truth. Father…_

“There’s nothing left for you now…Nothing but despair.” She grinned as Dimitri broke free and plunged a knife into her, her last breath forming a twisted laugh. 

\- - -

“Try as that woman might to spout nonsense to her very last, nothing could change the fact that she was an enemy of the Kingdom.” Dedue, Gilbert, and Byleth stood at the castle around a pained Dimitri, who paced back and forth. “She sold out Faerghus to the Empire, forcing our people to suffer their tyranny…” he stopped to face them, holding a fist out in front of him. “But all of that ends today. No more blood will be needlessly spilled.”

He looked over at Byleth, who nodded at him to continue. 

“Now that Cornelia has fallen, we will exert pressure on the nobles who were aligned with her.” He looked over to Dedue and clasped the other man’s hands in his own. “Perhaps we may yet find a connection to the tragic incident in Duscur. Once we do that, we will finally be able to prove the innocence of it’s people.” His voice was desperate. 

“Your Highness…” Dedue bowed his head to Dimitri. “I am certain that would make those of Duscur who lost their lives that day very happy. I am grateful. And I am proud to serve a man such as you.” His smile was wide. 

Gilbert indicated to the stairwell heading up to a landing that looked over the city below. “Come, Your Highness. You still have some responsibilities that must be carried out. Your people have been patiently awaiting your return.” 

“Do you mean…” _I cannot. I cannot bear this burden. I am not worthy of this._ “No. I can’t bear to face them after all that I-” Dimitri paled. 

“You must face them.” Byleth was stern as she brushed his hair out of his eye. 

“Professor…” he sighed. _Oh, my love._ “Right you are, as ever. I am their king, after all.”

The four advanced the steps up to the landing, Byleth leading the way up until the very top, where she signaled Dimitri to step through the doorway. “I am proud of you.” She whispered, as he passed her. He gave a nervous but grateful smile. 

He looked over the balcony, shocked at the people that thronged the streets, smiling and cheering, yelling boisterously as he appeared. “What…what is this?”

“As you can see, the people are rejoicing at the return of their king.” Gilbert could not hide the joy in his voice as he surveyed the crowd. 

“Even though I turned my back on them, and fled the Kingdom in disgrace…” Dimitri’s voice was sorrowful as he marveled at the faces below them. _Even then, they wish for me to face them? They cheer my name? I do not understand. It is them I wish to be worthy of. How can they so easily deem me as such?_

“Even so…the spectacle before you does not lie. We are a Kingdom in need of a king. A hero to save the people from their long oppresion.” He clapped a hand on Dimitri’s shoulder. “Your Highness…It is truly a blessing that you have returned.”

“Do I really have the right to stand here? Will they accept me as their king?” His voice trembled as he turned to the other three. “Bloodstained as I am…Am I fit to be king?” _A monster for a king, yet, here I am. If my people want me, then…my loyalty is to them. My life is for them. I will be their king, and I will make sure that I prove to them a thousand-fold how I will fight for them._

“Don’t cry, Dimitri.” Byleth placed a kiss on his forehead. “This is a happy time.” 

“These are happy tears…I am finally home again…” He turned back, facing the people of the kingdom below them. _Yes. I am happy to be given this chance._

“Faerghus…How I missed you.”

\- - -

As night fell, Dimitri took to the streets alone as the group feasted, taking in the sights and sounds, feeling a thankfulness in his heart. He needed a break, a moment to process. _I have been given a chance to prove myself. I will be a worthy King. I will lead my people to peace, to victory. That is my vow._

He turned a corner near the castle, and spotted a familiar head of long, beautiful turquoise locks. A smile played across his lips as he approached Byleth. 

“It may be spring, but the nights are quite chilly here in Fhirdiad…” He pulled his cloak off of his body, wrapping the fuzzy cloth around Byleth as he took a stand by her. She turned to face him, slightly surprised at his appearance. “Still, our celebratory feast shows no sign of stopping. Have you grown weary of the festivities?” He placed a sweet kiss on her lips, pulling her body close to his. 

“I was going to ask you the same.” She smiled under his mouth, pulling back reluctantly to look into his eye. 

“It’s not that I have grown weary…more that I find it difficult to be around everyone at the moment.” He tilted his head as he observed her. “I have just returned from visiting the graves of my loved ones. It had been a long while since I left flowers. I was always terribly afraid of going near there. But I could not stay away forever.”

Byleth took both of his hands and nodded.

“You have taught me something important, Byleth.”

“Humor?” She squeezed both his hands as he laughed. 

“That too, of course. But what I’m referring to is far more valuable. How should I put this…Perhaps it is most accurate to say that…you taught me how to live. If you and I had not reunited on that fateful day, I am certain I would have died a fruitless death on the battlefield. I would have foolishly challenged a horde of foes and, in doing so, needlessly sacrificed the lives of my friends and myself. But now, I have returned to my rightful place. I struggle with what to say, when I know well that words are not enough to express my gratitude.” He kissed her as deeply as was possible. “You saved me from the darkness…and guided me back to the light.” He pulled her in closely. “Thank you, Byleth. With all that I am, I thank you.”

\- - -

 _But what I now seek is something else entirely…I can say that with confidence._ Dimitri ran over his words to Byleth as they walked hand-in-hand through the halls of the palace. He felt peace in his heart with her by his side, with this first step taken towards liberating his people. 

They spoke of their plans going forward as they walked, aimlessly pacing the floors. Reshuffling the troops, absorbing forces, what commands would need to be given to the lords to start to reclaim the Kingdom territory around them. What would need to be asked of the merchants. His desire to connect with Edelgard, perhaps to find some common ground and understanding…atoning for his sins by finding a way to end the war with acceptance, not annihilation. Spilling his thoughts out to Byleth was nothing new to him, and it brought him greater clarity and peace just to have someone to bounce things off of. 

Sudden footsteps behind them brought them to attention. A sprinting guard skidded, stopping in front of them, urgency in the way he caught his breath. “Your Highness! I finally found you!”

“Ah, I am sorry for slipping away.” Dimitri dipped his head apologetically. “Has something happened?”

“An express messenger just arrived from the leader of the Alliance. Please return to the castle at once!”

\- - -

Dimitri, without a second thought, dispached the messenger from the Leicester alliance to head back promptly with their answer, that they would prepare forces and be on their way directly. 

He turned to Byleth. “We must inform the others that we must be off after getting things in order the best we can. We must not delay. I would say we leave tomorrow, but I do not think it will be feasible to do so in an organized manner. Perhaps the day after. We can recoup tomorrow and make sure we get everything in a line.”

She nodded. “I will pass on the message.”

\- - -

After a quick meeting with the war council, they decided to let the rest of the knights be and enjoy the feasting and celebration for the rest of that night. They had earned that much. 

“And us, Byleth?” Dimitri gave her a lopsided smile as he took her hand. After the meeting, they had made their way back up to the balcony overlooking the city, citing a need to plan. At this point, no one was fooled - there were few reasons for the Professor to be wearing the King’s cloak - but there were more grins than complaints as they stole off. 

“What about us, Dimitri?” She leaned into his side and nipped at his neck. 

“Well, we have some time till we officially are to meet again in the morning. We should celebrate, too.” The moonlight reflected onto her, illuminating her in a light soft as silk. The way she looked up at him, the way her lips parted when they were close, the way her hand felt in his, that placed more joy than was even possible in his heart. 

Playfully, she ran her fingers up his chest, happy footsteps chasing his heart. “Did you have something in mind?” 

He blushed a little under the dim light. “Actually…”

“Oh? The King blushing? This must be good.” She got up on her tiptoes and kissed him. “Do tell.”

He wrapped an arm around her waist, effortlessly lifting her up so that she was sitting on the balcony railing facing him. He balanced her with the arm behind and brought his other hand to her thigh, gently stroking at her ripped tights. “Well…I’ve mentioned that over the years, I have spent a lot of time thinking about you and the various ways I would like to _have_ you, yes?” He leaned in, enjoying her shiver as his lips met her neck. “Well, one that I have often re-visited in my mind involves absolutely _defiling_ you in the throne room, right on the throne.” His grin was almost evil as he continued. “I want to hear your screams echo around the room.” He ran his hand up on her inner thigh, eliciting a soft noise from her as he whispered in her ear. “And as much as I like the idea of trying not to get caught, everyone _is_ at dinner right now.” He pulled away from her and smirked, slipping her back down onto her feet. “I’m not a very patient man right now. If you don’t give me an answer soon, I may just be inclined to take you right here, against the balcony.”

She grinned as she took his hand. “Lead the way to the throne room.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having agreed to help the Alliance, Byleth and Dimitri celebrate the victory at Fhirdiad together in the palace before they march out to Derdriu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to write more smut.

Alone, the echoing of their feet filled the throne room as they entered the spacious hall. It was mostly empty, save for the giant plush throne at the end of the room flanked by a slightly smaller (though equally ornate) chair. The ruler and their consort. 

_How I wish for her to take the seat next to me, one day. Perhaps it may yet be possible, though I do not know if I am willing to subject her to queendom, if she will even have me. I should be thankful. I have tonight with her, I have many more nights, and that is more than I am even lucky to get. She may never agree to being my queen, but until we must part, she is more than that._

Dimitri pushed the conversation with his heart aside as Byleth turned behind them, closing and bolting the massive twin doors that barred the throne room from the rest of the castle. 

“Well, my King?” She bowed to him, playfulness twitching the corners of her mouth upwards. 

Something in his pants reacted to being addressed as such, much to his own bemusement. “I am your king, Byleth?” 

“Mmm, yes. Or would you prefer something else?” She smiled coyly, pulling him in for a kiss, dragging him to the other side of the room as she sunk her lips into his mouth, his neck, any part of him that she could reach. 

He grabbed her by the hips, grinding into her clumsily as they moved as one. He reached to pull the cloak off of her as they stumbled up the steps by the throne, however, she stopped him with a finger to his lips. “One second. I have a request for you - if you will humble a commoner such as myself, my Liege.” Cheekily, she took the cloak off herself and placed it on the seat of the throne. “Strip for me, Dimitri,” she whispered, her voice absolutely _delicious_ , “then put the robe back on.” 

“As your king, my lady, you cannot just simply make demands of me.” He breathed down her neck, nibbling at the base where it met her shoulder. “But there are no women in the Kingdom as _persuasive_ as you are, so I am simply forced to oblige.”

He stepped back from her and started to remove his clothes slowly, article-by-article, neatly folding as he went. “No touching.” He laughed as she reached out to stroke his bare chest as he took his jacket off. “Look all you want, though.”

It was easily apparent the effects of Dimitri’s training on his body. Though still gaunt from his ghosts, he was significantly more well built than he was during his school-days. His body was firm, defined abdominal muscles criss-crossed by scars, constellations across the dark sky that was _him_. His shoulders were wide and sinewy, the bulk of his arms drool-worthy as Byleth imagined him picking her up again. He ran his thumb between the waistband of his pants and the rest of his body, highlighting the vee below his stomach that lead down to his girth. He slid his pants off leg-by-leg, watching how Byleth’s eyes ran over him again and again, enjoying her hunger as he tormented her with his patience. 

Soon, he stood before her, completely naked. She drank in his body thirstily with her eyes as he swung the coat off of the seat of the throne and wrapped it around himself, the sheer size of the cloth covering his entire body. He sat down on the throne in front of her, placing his hands commandingly on the armrests, back straight as he stared down at her with a frustratingly smug smirk. 

“Can I touch you now, your Highness?” Byleth’s voice was breathy, as if she had been straining simply by watching him in front of her. She stepped towards him with a desperate eagerness in her eyes, a reluctant restraint in her body as she reverently dropped to her knees in front of the throne. “Or do I need to get down on my knees and beg?”

Without waiting for a response, she took his head in her mouth, swirling her tongue around him, lapping up his dripping precum with an excited groan. She took her hand to his base though barely able to wrap around the whole thing, slowly gliding it up and down. His skin under her hands was hot and stiff as he grew from half to full-mast at her touch. His breath hitched as he praised her. “Byleth. You feel so good, you feel so _fucking_ good-”

Slowly, she slid her mouth halfway down his shaft, sucking and licking slowly as she reached a hand down to fondle his balls. 

_I want more._ she thought, hungrily, her brain fogged with lust. 

With a sudden motion, she pushed her head forward, taking the rest of his length down her throat. The sinful and surprised moan that escaped his lips encouraged her as she slacked her jaw, grabbing the legs of the throne and using them to leverage herself back and forth as she slid him in and out of her throat. She raised her eyes directly to him, moaning as she made a show of her lips and hands and tongue, lavishing his cock with attention. She could feel her own arousal pooling in her stomach as she bobbed back and forth, rising on the words of his praise. 

“Goddess-Byleth…keep…fuck…so beautiful…so…” his voice was low and garbled as she ran her fingers over his inner thighs, leaving light scratches down them with her nails. She pulled him out of her mouth with a wet popping noise, her face satisfied as he mumbled her name. “Byleth, _fuck_ , that felt _so good_ -”

She shut him up with a deep kiss, straddling him comfortably on the throne with her knees on either side of his thighs. She pulled the cloak around both of them like a blanket as she ran her hands up and down his back and chest, grinding her clothed body on his naked one. “I love how hard you get for me.” She reached down to unbutton her shorts, but in Dimitri’s impatience, his super-strength made short work of them as he ripped them off of her hips along with her tights, already ripped from Dimitri’s nails climbing up and down them. 

“Oops.” He whispered, one edge of his mouth curling upwards. “I’ll buy you some new ones, yes?” 

“Just touch me.” She whispered back, guiding his hand to her folds. 

Easily, he slipped his fingers to her clit, rubbing up and down as she threw her head forwards onto his shoulder, muffling her moans by biting into him. 

“Oh? Did you get this wet just from sucking me off?” He reached his other hand to her ass, gripping it with force as he played with her. “I loved watching you on your knees for me, I loved how well you took my entire length in your mouth, I loved seeing your beautiful lips wrapped around me.” He brought his lips to her neck, breathing and kissing up and down with a teasingly soft touch. He slipped his fingers into her, drinking the moan from her lips as she started to bounce up and down. 

“Dimitri…oh, Dimitri…” she buried her head back into the crook between his neck and shoulder, muffled moans slipping out from her tongue onto his skin, sweet and warm.

“That’s it, Byleth. Ride my fingers, show me what a good girl you can be.” He taunted her by unbuttoning her shirt with his free hand and bringing his fingers to her breast, breathing warmly on her neck as he occasionally rolled a nipple between his fingers. 

“Take me. Please. I’m being good. I want you inside of me.” She begged, bringing her lips up to his, grasping his face gently with her hands. “I need it.”

He pulled his fingers out of her slowly, trailing them on her clit as he brought them up to his mouth and thoughtfully sucked on them. 

“Okay. But we do this my way.” He grabbed her by the hips, pulling her onto his dick, sinking into her with ease as she let out a loud gasp of pleasure. “Oh, you take me so well. You were made for this, weren’t you?” He grabbed her by the waist and stood up from the throne, making sure she was still steady on his length, cloak still wrapped around them. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he turned around, placing her on the throne, still inside of her. He began to pump in and out slowly, lacing their hands together as he did so. “Promise not to come until I’m ready too, okay?” 

She nodded jerkily as he reached a hand back down to her clit. “Oh Goddess. Dimitri. Dimitri-faster, harder. Take me harder. Fill me up.”

He sped up his pace, slamming into her with as much control as he could. 

A sudden booming knock from the doors at the other side of the room surprised both of them. Byleth tried to scramble upwards, but Dimitri held her down, placing two fingers in her mouth to silence her as he continued to pump in and out of her softly. He could feel her teeth grazing his fingers with pleasure and frustration. 

“We are currently pre-occupied with preparing for the next couple of days. Is it urgent?” He called back, grinning wickedly at her as he pushed himself to his hilt and ground a circle into her. 

“You two disappeared. We heard noises, and we were worried something happened.” Sylvain’s voice was drunk, muffled and playful as he called through the door. He knew exactly what he was doing. They heard a muffled grunt and thwack as someone smacked him. “Felix, _ow_.” 

“Leave them alone, dumbass. We have our own…preparations…to take care of.” Felix’s curt voice held back a sharp bite of laughter as he presumably grabbed Sylvain roughly. 

“Carry on, lovebirds, carry on~” Sylvain’s voice faded away as Felix dragged him to his room. 

Dimitri and Byleth both held back laughter as the two men departed. 

“Told you so.” She mouthed from around his fingers. 

Increasing his speed again, he pulled his fingers from Byleth’s mouth and grabbed her hand again as he continued to work. “I just liked how you clenched around me when you were worried we were going to get caught. I didn’t know you had such a _naughty_ streak.” He leaned down to give her a kiss. “Let me know when you’re close. But remember. Hold on for me.”

They enjoyed each other for the next few minutes, praising each other, Dimitri passing more affectionately filthy words onto her as she reached a hand down to rub her clit. “Good girl. Good girl, Byleth. I’m close. Come for me.” He cooed. 

With a shudder and a stuttering moan, Byleth’s walls clenched against Dimitri as he came inside of her, both of them grabbing the other closer for a sweaty kiss. 

“You ripped my clothes.” She giggled, noting the ripped pants on the ground. “How am I supposed to get back to our room now?” 

“You wrap the cloak around you. It’s big enough on you that even if we do pass anyone, it won’t be noticeable.” He smiled, pulling it off of himself and pulling her upwards, wrapping it around her back.

“Did you _defile_ me well enough to fulfill your fantasy?” 

“Oh, I think so. But just to make sure, we might have to do this again some other time. Just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.” He ran his tongue over her lips. “Shall we?”

\- - -

He watched her as she fell asleep, her face peaceful and content as he held her close. They shared a bed together in the suite reserved for the King and Queen, and the melancholy of his earlier thoughts drifted back over him as he remembered the fact. 

_She is likely to be tied to Garrech Mach once this is all over. Perhaps the Archbishop. Perhaps the head of the Knights. There is no way a union would work, nor would she accept anything that would take her away from her duty._

_But I want her as my queen. I do not want another, for the rest of my life._

_What if this arrangement is just for the war? What if, when this is all over, she turns away - me being nothing but her distraction through the conflict?_

_No, that cannot be. She is not like that._

_But I cannot accept that. I cannot believe myself chosen by one such as her._

_If I can accept that my people chose me as king, I can accept that Byleth chose me, too. If this is part of my path to become worthy, then I will do everything in my power to become worthy of her, too._

\- - -

The members of the war council were more than slightly hungover as they convened early in the morning, before even breakfast. 

Dimitri started by summarizing the situation. “We have received a request for aid from the Alliance. They are being invaded by the Empire. We have only just taken back Fhirdiad, and yet I am already asking all of you to move out once more. Please accept my apologies for that.”

Ingrid shook her head. “That’s no problem at all. More importantly, how is the Alliance faring?”

Dimitri crossed his hands over his chest commandingly. Byleth tried her best to be discreet as she looked him up and down, admiring his stature. “House Riegan has rallied the Alliance lords. They are facing the enemy with all the strength they can muster. But we do not know how far that will get them. It seems the enemy’s relentless attacks have forced them into a tough situation. Their defeat at Gronder severely weakened the Alliance. I imagine the Empire now intends to destroy them before they can recover.”

They covered the rest of the facts as a group. Lord Arundel would be leading the forces, a shrewd tactician, likely due to Edelgard’s wounding at Gronder. Not to mention Dimitri’s suspicions regarding the man and his connections to the Duscur tragedy. 

All were in agreement about the decision to help the Alliance. Not only was it the right thing to do, regardless of if it would delay the march to Enbarr, but it would give them an advantage to ally together and perhaps receive Claude’s help going forward. 

So, they would march. As soon as they could.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle at Derdriu was a great success. The former students and residents of the Officer's Academy spend some time celebrating, afterwards. A little plot, a little filler, a little fluff.

Off they rode to the aquatic capital of Derdriu.

A familiar guilt twisted itself in Dimitri’s gut. _I nearly killed Claude the last time I saw him at Gronder, yet he still trusts me for aid? This is a huge risk for him. I will do the right thing as a king - perhaps more than a king, perhaps as a friend, too. Yes. Claude is my friend, despite our occasional differences back in the day. And he deserves more from me than a lance pointed at his chest. Truly, he is the leader I should model myself after - worthy, strong, ambitious, kind. He is good to his people. He does not kill his people. He does not let his ghosts floor him, he is whole, he does not-_

He did not like the way he remembered his boyhood jealousy at Claude’s easy grace around Byleth, her comfort around him. The way the fire of envy lit in the back of his mind when the Golden Deer’s leader would casually threw an arm around her and laugh, something Dimitri always wished he could have done. _Idiot._ He placed a palm over his remaining eye. _You have more consequential things to worry about than the woman who already curls up in your arms at night._ But it was hard to shake. Along with being haunted and being a king, he could not shake that immature possessiveness 

“Dimitri?” Byleth’s soft voice broke him out of his line of thought. Yet another lance lay folded in his hands, no doubt due to his absentminded anger. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, embarassed. “I was thinking.”

“About?” Concern crossed her face as she plucked the ruined weapon from his hands and stuffed it away in a pack on his horse. They rode side-by-side, their horses in a step-by-step tandem as they lead the army. “You have nothing to fear. Claude is our ally. Our friend.” 

“It’s not fear. It’s…” He paused, a slight flush creeping up to the bridge of his nose, “…it is that he is to his people what I hope to be for mine. My hauntings do not like the reminder. He has fought like I should have been fighting this whole time.” His lips turned downward slightly with the vulnerable honesty. “I feel a bit like a child, sometimes. That I feel like a failure if I have not achieved my goals before I have even conceptualized them. That I am not _already_ the best king. That I have not _already_ liberated my people. That I wasted so many years as a bloodied, _worthless_ , murderer-”

“Hey. Hey. Dimitri.” His name felt soothing as it floated from her lips, musical. She balanced on her horse and reached a hand out to touch his forearm. “You cannot change your past. You can just live for the future.”

Dimitri nodded. “Yes. As always, you are right.” 

\- - -

They pulled up to the Aquatic Capital’s gates, the Imperial army’s banners already in sight, smoke to the fire that were the sounds of fighting echoing upwards from Derdriu’s streets. 

“It seems the Imperial advance has been stalled by guerrilla skirmishes. The Alliance forces are holding out, but they won’t last much longer…” Gilbert rested his chin in the crook between his thumb and index finger thoughtfully. 

“That must be Judith of House Daphnel who joined up with Claude’s troops.” Ingrid peered out into the city, remembering the statuesque woman who had passed by the monastery during their time there as students. “To think Judith, a true hero, would find herself backed into a corner like this…”

Dimitri shook his head, letting the sunshine of his locks fall over his eyes. “It is not so.” He looked to Byleth for confirmation. She nodded. “The Alliance has only drawn the enemy so deeply into the city to allow us to attack them from behind. Brilliant.” He had always admired Claude’s risk taking, but this was on another level. “He put his soldiers into position purely on the belief that we’d come…I can’t believe Claude would risk everything on that belief.” His fingers curled into a fist as tight as his stomach. _Claude. Trust no-one-Claude, trusting me._ “He has placed all of his hopes on us. Let’s make sure we live up to his expectations, Professor.” He unclenched his fist to take one of Byleth’s hands, kissing the top of it gallantly. 

\- - -

The sight of Lord Arundel in the streets were a fistful of needles in the squeezing palm of Dimitri’s mind, but he could not feel anything but the cruel satisfaction of adrenaline at the army’s surprise as the Blaiddyd banners approached them. 

Claude had set them up perfectly. With the Imperial army at an off-angle by the Kingdom’s approach, the pincer attack planned by the Alliance went off almost without a hitch. 

Having struck down much of the Imperial forces almost single-handedly, Dimitri approached Lord Arundel with the fury of an exploding star. 

“You would raise a weapon against your uncle? You’ve grown into a savage of a man, just like your father.” Lord Arundel raised his palms to point directly at Dimitri’s face, his face furrowed in concentration as he drew a spell to his hands. 

Dimitri scoffed. _You have no idea._ “You are rather calm for one in your position. Or did you forget that this is a battlefield? Perhaps this is no time for words, Uncle. There will be time for that after we have settled things here.” 

It only took a single strike from Dimitri to fell Arundel, crumpling him onto the streets. 

“Uncle.” A pang of guilt crossed Dimitri’s face, but he spoke a silent vow to his ghosts as he steeled himself to ask the question that had been on his mind the most, that had been taking over his ruminations since he had slain Cornelia. “I need to know. The incident nine years ago…You were involved, weren’t you?” He held his lance directly to Arundel’s Adam’s apple. “You know something. What did Cornelia…No.” He took another breath, finally breaking the seal that had been holding his truth away from him. “What did my stepmother do?!”

“You are not qualified to look into the darkness…” Arundel’s voice was foreboding as he looked Dimitri straight in the eye, spitting on the ground next to him. “You and Edelgard…Do your best to kill each other…You are family, after all.” He coughed roughly. “There it is…the light…”

\- - -

Dimitri took Byleth in his arms, trying to fend off the voices that ate at him. _You killed him. You are responsible for us not finding our truth._ “He’s dead.” He stared blankly over her head into the distance. “There goes our chance to gain more information.”

She pulled back from his embrace and reached a hand up to his face, cupping his cheek in her palm quietly. 

“Then again, even if we had managed to capture him alive, judging by the way he was acting…” Dimitri sighed and placed his hand over hers. 

“For now, let’s rejoice in our victory.” Byleth kissed him, reaching up on her tiptoes to gently press her mouth to his. 

“Teach is absolutely right.” Claude swaggered over, interrupting the moment between the two, a roguish smile on his face. “We should take this rare opportunity to let off some tension.”

Dimitri reached over to clap a hand on Claude’s shoulder, which was as affectionate as Byleth had seen him get with anyone. “It’s been a long time, Claude. I am glad to see that you’re safe.”

“Same.” Claude winked. “I haven’t seen you since the nightmare that was Gronder. You really did come to help us…You must be a bunch of soft-hearted suckers, eh?” The gratefulness in his voice was masked by nothing, reaching up to his thankful eyes. 

Dimitri crossed his arms with a smile. “If you really felt that way, you would not have set up a defensive battle in the hopes that we would come. It worked out, only because we made it in time. Were you really so confident that we would answer the call?”

The two bantered for a little, Claude revealing he had even sent the messenger before they had captured the Kingdom’s capital. 

_His resounding faith in me is something I cannot understand, though he will never know how thankful I am for it._ Dimitri’s eye examined Claude’s face, simultaneously inscrutable and an open book - perhaps he had allowed himself some vulnerability in the last few years. 

A wave of shock passed across both Byleth and Dimitri as Claude handed them his prized bow, the relic Failnaught - not just any relic, but House Riegan’s hero’s relic. 

“It’s not a joke.” Claude responded sheepishly. “As of today, the Leicester Alliance is no more…if you’re going to lead Fodlan, then the Alliance lords will follow you. Back in the day, the Alliance split off from the Kingdom. I’m just putting us back together again.” 

Dimitri absentmindedly spun Failnaught in his hands, an incredulous expression on his face. He opened his mouth to respond, but Claude cut him off. 

“Oh, and I’ve already gained the support of the other lords at the roundtable conference, so you can stop looking at me like I’m crazy. All that’s left for me is to officially step down as the leader of the Alliance.”

He confessed that he had other plans to see to life, before looking Dimitri straight in the eye. “And remember, both the living and the dead cling to us without any regard for our own lives. It’s up to us to break free of that weight and follow the path that we believe in.” 

“Claude…” Dimitri struggled to respond as Claude pulled him in for a bear hug. 

“Oops, I almost forgot the most important thing - “ Claude pulled away, chuckling. “If you’re looking for Rhea, apparently she’s being held captive in the Imperial capital. It doesn’t sound like they intend to kill her, but there’s no telling what they’re planning.”

Smile on his face, Claude forced a promise from them, that they would meet again in the future. 

“Now then.” A beaming Sylvain walked up to them, pulling Dimitri and Claude in with one arm around each of their shoulders. “Professor, Dimitri, Claude - it’s good to see you - it seems that a celebration is in order tonight, before we pack up and head back to Garreg Mach, no?” 

Claude grinned. “Any chance to party with you again, Sylvain.”

\- - -

The Kingdom and Alliance forces gathered together in the inn Claude had commandeered for the party. Food and drink made the rounds, and the former students of the Officer’s Academy sat together around a table, laughing raucously as they drank and talked, reminiscing about times gone by or catching up about the present. Lorenz and Constance would not let go of Ferdinand’s ear as all three sipped delicately on sweet cocktails. A drunken Dorothea wrapped herself affectionately around a ruddy Raphael, who was engaged in some sort of napkin-centric game with Ashe. 

“So, Balthus, while Hilda had dropped herself over with us, you took the rest of the Ashen Wolves over to Duke Goneril?”

“Ah, yeah, couldn’t leave Holst in a rut without me there, and the others decided that they would come with. Constance mumbled something about restoring House Nuvelle. Yuri, as usual, makes no sense. Hapi just wanted to stick with us. She also said something about Linhardt defecting from the Empire to the Alliance, but I tried not to tease her about that, just in case she sighed at me” Balthus, grinning from ear to ear, ruffled Ingrid’s hair. “It’s good to see you all again!” He yelled into the group. He chugged the rest of his beer and called over the bartender for another. 

“Where’s Claude?” Byleth turned to Ignatz, who was watching interestedly at Raphael and Ashe’s game. 

“Oh. Back there.” He pointed his thumb backwards at the corner of the hall, a flush rising to his cheeks. A mass of writhing limbs made itself known on a chair as Hilda sat on Claude’s lap, the two locking lips desperately. “I think they missed each other.”

\- - -

Byleth had never understood couples that got completely shit-faced and then made out in public, until Balthus had poured her one too many drinks and she found herself biting Dimitri’s ear. 

“Byleth. My lo- my dear. We are in public.” _My love._ Dimitri complained, though made no motions to push her off of him. “Would you not prefer we go back up to a room?”

“Mmmmmm-itri.” She pushed a finger into his chest. “’mitri.”

“Yes, Byleth?”

“You are sooooo handsome.” She slumped her arms around him sloppily. “I like you. Lots.”

Dimitri was glad Sylvain was not around to give them grief. Instead, he was off on his own side of the table, harassing a sober Felix to give him a kiss. Was that the theme for the night?

He looked over at the others. Hilda and Claude had made their escape perhaps an hour ago. Ferdinand giggled over his cocktail alongside a surprisingly chipper Marianne, sneaking glances at Dorothea who was very, _very_ invested in something Ingrid was saying to her. Caring as always, Ashe placed a soft kiss on the top of Mercedes' head as she tended to those who needed water, pouring into numerous glasses from a overly full jug. Manuela was absolutely _smothering_ Hanneman.

“I like you too, Byleth.” He smiled at her and pulled her onto his lap, his arms wrapped around her waist.

“Lots?”

“Yes, lots.”

“Do you…” She stuck her tongue out of her mouth. 

“Do I what, belo- Byleth?” _Beloved._ Maybe it was the whiskey, but he kept slipping on his words, too. 

“No. Never mind.” She pouted and placed her hands on his shoulders. “Okay. I’ll ask you. But you can’t laugh.”

“Well, that was a sudden turn-around.” He smirked at her and planted a kiss on her forehead. “I promise, I won’t laugh.”

“Dima…” She paused. “I decided. That’s your nickname now.”

“Okay. I like it. I love it. Can I give you one too?” His heart lifted a little at the sweetness of her. He had never really had a nickname before. 

“Yes. But first.” She held a finger to his lips drunkenly. “My question.”

“Yes, yes. Of course.” He nodded, humoring her.

“…do you love me?”


	14. Interlude - Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short inter-chapter fluff drabble, where Dimitri answers a drunk Byleth’s “...do you love me?” by literally sweeping her off her feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short smattering of words to follow up the last chapter. I haven't had a ton of time to write this week, but here's some fluff for those following along at home :)

“Do you want me to tell you my answer or show you my answer?”

“Wha-?” Byleth cocked her head sideways, puffing out her cheeks. “Ummmm. Both? Both.”

Wordlessly, Dimitri scooped her up in his arms and headed to the inn stairs that led up to the rooms. “Good night, all! We must retire.”

Murmurs of farewell followed them up the stairs. Dimitri threw the door to “his” room open with one hand and deposited a confused Byleth on the bed. 

“Why’d we leeeeeave? I wanted to spend time with everyone some mooooore.” Byleth frowned exaggeratedly. 

She was so fucking _adorable_ when drunk like this. So goofy and silly and full of love. Dimitri admired the way her flush smattered across the bridge of her nose and her cheeks, the way her words did not chain together, but she was _so_ sure that they did. 

“Dimaaaaaa.” She suddenly grinned triumphantly. “I used your nickname.

“Byleth, would you ask me your question again, please?” He sat down next to her on the bed, smiling deviously. 

“Did you already forget?” She seemed confused. “Are you okay? Did you drink too much?” She reached a hand to his forehead. “You’re not warm, are you-”

“No, no, I’m fine. I just wanted you to ask me again so I could give you a proper answer.” He took her hand in his and gave it a kiss. “So can you ask me again?”

She took a deep breath. He thought it was a little silly that she already didn’t know what he was going to say, but being drunk was always a little weird. “Do you love me, Dimitri?”

“Well, first of all, yes.” He pulled her onto his lap and ran his hands through her hair. “I love you, Byleth.” He kissed her deeply, breathing her in. “I have loved you since that first time you asked me to tea, barely a month into my time at the Academy. I have loved that look in your eyes, when you correct me, and I learn something new that I feel like should have been obvious from day one. I have loved each time you gave me praise, each time I was able to make your eyes wide with approval.” 

Byleth looked up at him, swaying her head back and forth as she bit her lip and took in his words, more intoxicating than anything she had drank that night. “You mean it?”

“I’m not done yet.” He placed a finger to her lips as he placed his other hand on the small of her back, the distance between his fingers almost wide enough to cross her whole body. “I love the way you taught me how to use my strength, that you still sparred with a freakishly strong boy. I love that you are a master of tactics, out-classing all of us even after 5 straight years of being asleep. The way your mind works is inscrutable. That is lovely to me.”

He kissed her on the forehead. “Now. Bed. I’ll get you some water. We can talk more in the morning. I’m not even going to start on your physical beauty tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr @ preetsposting


	15. Reach Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and Dimitri spend the morning together after Derdriu; then Dimitri must tell the others his truth, about his ties to Edelgard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have heard clamourings for more smut, so here is more smut! Followed by some plot-dialogue. :)
> 
> skip to "Yet another hungover march" if you don't wanna read smut!

Byleth awoke with the strangest of fogs in her head. She blinked tiredly and turned into the comfortable warmth at her side that was Dimitri’s protective frame, hoping to find answers in him. 

He sleeps shirtless. She quickly found herself distracted by the broadness of his shoulders. The wiriness of his muscles, even when he was at his most relaxed. She ran a finger gently down his chest, circling around his pectoral muscles, moving her hand sideways to place her palm flat on his hips. She gently stroked at his skin with her thumb, looking down at the way his soft night-pants were pulled slightly below the vee of his hips. Without thinking, she ran a nail under his waistband, slipping one hand onto his hip-bones. She could see his length twitch slightly at her touch, a wave of arousal passing through her at the slight tenting of his pants. 

“Mmmm.” His eyes flickered open slightly, looking sideways at her with a sly smile. “Can’t even wait until I’m awake, _Professor_?” 

A fragment of memory popped itself into her head. She remembered drinking late into the night. She remembered some sort of…nickname she had come up with for Dimitri. _Dimi? Mitri? Dima? Right. Dima._

She remembered some sort of pressing urgency. 

_”Okay. I’ll ask you. But you can’t laugh._

She remembered…asking Dimitri…something?

 _Oh no. Oh Goddess._

She couldn’t remember anything after that. 

She pouted. “Dimit…Dima?”

“Oh, so you do remember last night.” He teased her, pressing his lips to the top of her head affectionately. _Goddess. You are so cute._ “You were very pleased with your nickname for me.”

“It’s sweet. I like it. It’s _my_ name for you. You are everyone’s Dimitri, everyone’s Highness, but you are just my Dima.” She looked up at him and placed a kiss at his jawline. “I don’t…I don’t remember much else, though. I remember…that I had something very important to ask you, but…my memory is very much bits and pieces when I try to think about the end of the night.” She frowned. “I really hope it wasn’t anything stupid. Did I make a fool of myself around everyone? I’m not quite used to drinking that much. In fact, it’s been years - probably the last time was still with my father and his mercenaries.”

“You did not make a fool of yourself, my l- my dear.” Dimitri looked like he was considering something. He did not speak further, instead pulling her closer to his chest. 

_What did I…what did I…Do I want to know?_

It was as if he was a mind reader. He spoke back up. “You did ask me something, but I promise that it was something that you already knew the answer to.” 

Byleth continued to play with the waistband of his pants. She felt warmth from between his thighs, and she snuggled herself more securely against him, meeting his navel with hers. For some reason, her anxiety had started to slowly dissipate. She did not remember even a fragment of anything Dimitri had said last night, but she remembered a look on his face, a look that combined affection, want, care, and wonder all in one. It was the way she had always wanted someone to look at her. And if that look was the answer, the question could not have been so bad, it must have been- 

It came to her.

_Do you love me, Dimitri?_

Her expression must have let something slip. 

“Are you starting to remember?” 

She looked up at his face, meeting his soft gaze, the gaze that he reserved just for her. She buried her face in the crook between his neck and his shoulder. “Oh my goodness. Dimitri. I should not have asked you that when I was drunk. Goddess, what was I thinking, what-”

“Hey. Hey.” He pushed her away from him slightly, just enough so that he could look at her face, flushed red with embarrassment. “Byleth. I didn’t mind the question. Do you remember my answer? Do you remember what I told you?”

She shook her head. “No. I mean. I remember what you looked like. You looked at me so sweetly. But I don’t remember what you said. It can’t have been bad though, right? I mean, you’re still here with me?”

Dimitri laughed, a sound both gruff and joyful. “Byleth.”

“Dimitri.” She frowned. “Don’t tease me.”

“I’m not teasing you.”

“Then tell me. What did you say?”

“Do you want the long answer or the short answer?”

“There was a long answer?!” She sighed. “How drunk was I?”

“That’s neither here nor there. You had fun.” There was a devious glint to his eye, something that made Byleth feel like they were far away, far away from the war, from the suffering, from the strategy meetings and the rationing of meals and the battles.

“Anyway. How about this? I told you that I would leave one part of my answer for the morning. It’s the morning now. I’ll go over part two, then you tell me if you remember my answer to part one.” Dimitri rolled her onto her back and moved himself so he was straddling her. 

“I’m not sure this is a fair game.” Byleth laughed and snapped the elastic of his pants against his skin. “You’re known for distracting me enough that I forget things. I might even forget your name.” 

She nipped at his earlobe, then let out a soft whimper as he pinned her to the bed by her wrists and brought his lips to her neck, gently breathing as he kissed her, teasing, playing. 

“Oh, you’re not likely to forget my name.” His grin was devilish as he brought his face to hers, his lips just slightly out of her straining reach. “Not at the frequency with I’m going to make you moan it. Again, and again, and again…” He ground his hips into her, pulling the gasp from her lips into his mouth. The soft fabric of the chemise she had packed with her clung to her body - an impractical garment - something she seemed to have packed just for him. Not that he minded. He nudged her legs apart with one of his knees, re-arranging his hands so that both her wrists were trapped over her head in the broad grip of one, the other reaching down to stroke her over her panties, soft cotton that clung to the wetness of her folds as he gently pressed on them with his fingers. 

“Dimitri…” she shuddered as he gently pulled the fabric aside, one calloused finger making it’s way to rub frustratingly gentle circles against her clit. 

“See?” He smirked. “Promise you won’t forget.” He leaned back down to kiss her, feeling her hands hungrily try to escape from his iron grasp

“I want to touch you. I want you inside me. Now.” Her voice was stubborn, yet wavered as he dipped his head back downwards to nibble at her collarbone. 

He acquiesced to part of her demand, letting her hands free. They wandered up and down his back, her nails digging into his flesh when he moved his head downwards more, ripping her chemise with his teeth in his attempt to get to her breast. 

“I’ll buy you a new one.” He used his free hand to rip the flimsy garment the rest of the way, casting it aside urgently. “I owe you a shirt from the other night, anyway. We’ll just make a whole outfit out of it.”

She did not reply, moaning again instead, her eyes shut with pleasure.

He couldn’t help but to lean down and kiss her deeply. He was thankful she did not wear a bra to sleep. More barriers between him and her beautiful breasts. He slipped two fingers from the hand that was teasing her into her, curling them gently against her walls, tight against him, contracting with each of his motions. 

She let out a loud gasp, and he moved the hand from her chest to over her mouth. “We don’t want to scandalize our friends, do we?” His voice was playful. “The walls are thin. Be good, Byleth.” 

She grabbed at his pants, clumsily pulling them down low enough to indicate to him that he should finish the job. He quickly clambered out of his pants and underwear, tossing them unceremoniously backwards into an empty part of the room. 

“Someone’s impatient.” He whispered into her ear. “You haven’t even come once, yet.”

“The longer you spend teasing me, the more noise I’m going to make. And you’ll have to deal with the aftermath.” She argued back, her voice breathy and strained with arousal. She reached down to touch his dripping erection, breathing heavily as it pressed against her palms. “So, are you going to fuck me yet, _your highness?_ ” 

“I can’t say no to you. So, gladly.” He growled the last words. He pulled her panties off of her in a fluid motion, throwing them to the side roughly the same way he had done his pants. 

He lined his head up with her entrance, playing with himself, gliding up and down her slit for just a moment longer than she wanted him to. He slipped two fingers into her mouth as he pushed himself into her, all the way to his hilt. 

His groan mingled with her muffled one, trapped around his fingers. He began pumping in and out of her, slowly at first, pulling all the way out, then plunging himself back inwards. 

She ground her hips impatiently, attempting to ride him from her place on the bed, on her back. “More.” She whispered. “Dimitri. More.”

The in-and-out motion became more frantic, both of them holding back loud moans, whispering each others names through clenched teeth and fingers. Dimitri took both his hands to Byleth’s breasts, kneading them as she ran her nails up and down his arms. 

He leaned downwards, pressing his chest to hers. “I’m close.”

“Me too.” She whispered. She sunk her teeth into his shoulder as he pumped into her with a gale force, kissing her neck with passionate winds like she had never seen. 

She came with a stifled gasp a few moments before he did, breathing into her ear. Their lips found their way to the other, kissing hungrily, tasting the other as if it was the first time they had ever done this, the first time they were exploring the other. Curious and loving and playful and serious all at once, they tangled up in the sheets of the inn bed. 

“Byleth?”

“Yes?”

“Do you remember my answer?”

“Yes. But I want to hear you say it again. I want to hear it right now.”

“Byleth. I love you.”

She paused for a moment, letting the words sink into her skin, joyful. 

“I love you, Dimitri. I love you too. And I can’t wait for this war to end.”

\- - -

Yet another hungover march. 

Byleth thought it was hysterical how, yet again, almost every member of the war council cradled their heads in their hands, slumped over their horses as they rode back to Garreg Mach. 

Claude had left them with a wave and a promise. He would make sure they saw each other again. 

\- - -

Felix paced back and forth across the war room, hands behind his back. “Well, Dimitri? Are you finally going to tell us the damned truth?” He turned to face the taller man, narrowing his eyes as he did so. 

“What are you talking about?” Dimitri flared his nostrils. 

Ashe’s eyes were wide as he gestured vaguely. “Didn’t Lord Arundel say something about you and Edelgard being family?”

“To claim the King and the Emperor are related…could it be?” Ingrid tilted her head sideways, pondering. 

“Ah.” Dimitri’s mouth twisted sideways into a half-frown. “I suppose I never told you, though I do recall mentioning it briefly to the professor…” He sighed. “Lord Arundel spoke the truth. My stepmother was Edelgard’s birth mother. Political turmoil drove my stepmother out of the Empire. Father fell in love with her at first sight and they married.”

He paused for a second, dipping his head. “I lost my birth mother before I was old enough to remember her. My stepmother filled that role for me. But she lost her life in Duscur nine years ago, along with Father.” 

“Hang on.” Felix approached Dimitri, confused. “I didn’t even know she was your stepmother.” A brief snap of betrayal flashed behind his eyes. “Did my father know about this?” 

“Yes.” Dimitri nodded. “All those who were close to my father knew, including Rodrigue. But to speak openly about it would have caused a scandal, and so she was our secret. No one in the general public knew about her.” _The poor woman. I can only now start to understand why she was so wistful. Why she felt so much pain, even in her love. But the thought that she betrayed us…betrayed me…I just… I cannot process it. I do not want to process it._ He clenched his fists. “Naturally the fact that Edelgard-” _the witch_ “-and I are stepsiblings was kept a secret as well.” Complicated emotions rose in him as he spoke, and he felt the urge to flee, run back to his quarters, punch the wall again and again like he had done so many times before. He thought he would be okay, that he could speak the truth to his friends, but it made him feel small, weak. He felt like it exposed his anger, and his anger was what made him the most vulnerable. 

Byleth seemed to sense his unease, and she took a step towards him, gently prying one of his fists open and slipping her hand into his. 

Mercedes’ eyes welled with tears. “I’m finally beginning to understand what you went through five years ago. I mean, Edelgard is the only family you have left, isn’t she?” She wrung her hands. “To find out someone so precious to you is actually your most hated enemy…How heartbreaking.” 

_In a way, yes. But I am not so sure if I entirely believe that. I feel a strange, twisted, compassion because she was my friend, is my family. She seems to lack compassion for the small things in her pursuit for her ideals. Is her pursuit of something bigger, something she believes will help others, is that not a version of compassion?_

They spoke for a while. Dimitri found some humor in the fact that Sylvain remembered that Edelgard was the “dagger girl”. The others offered sympathy, horror, condolences - their minds turning at the revelation, worried about Dimitri. 

_But no._

Byleth looked up at him. The look in his eye was pained, confused, albiet still with a tinge of certainty. 

Dimitri placed a fist resolutely on the nearby table. “I will kill her…if I must…but, I would love to see a future in which I may reach out my hand for her and have her reach back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr @ preetsposting :) hmu with any asks for requests/one-shots/etc!


	16. Thoughts and Thoughtfulness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ponderings before the battle at Fort Merceus.

“Are you doing okay?” Byleth placed a hand on his shoulder as they stepped outside the war room together. “I could tell that talk of your stepmother was…hard on you.”

She stared up into his hardened face, the lines that made their way across his skin emphasized in the harsh light and shadow from the nearby window. His hair was straw and hay and sand and gold and butter in the light, every shade of sunshine she had ever seen in her life. His deep blue eye was half lidded, his fluttering lashes reaching his cheek each time he blinked. His lips were red, bitten from frustration, swollen from her attentions right before they had stepped into the meeting.

Dimitri shrugged his broad shoulders. “It is hard. For all intents and purposes, she was my mother. To understand that she may have been behind such a tragedy - something that took away those I loved - it is something I am still grappling with.” He sighed deeply. “Apparently, at Duscur, her carriage was unharmed. I cannot wrap my head around it - if she was a diplomatic pawn, we would know. Her daughter is the Emperor now. And we would also know if she had been captured and then killed. So then what? I do not understand. I do not know if I want to understand, Byleth.” His voice choked slightly. _Do I even have the right to understand? Am I worthy of this knowledge, even if it will help me come to peace? Do I deserve peace?”_

Byleth wrapped her arms around his waist, placing her head on his chest as they stood. “It’s okay, Dimitri. I am here. And we will confront this, together. But confront it, we must. For the people.” He trembled slightly in her arms.

Dimitri nodded. “For the people.”

\- - -

Byleth and Dimitri, hand-in-hand, wandered towards the fishing pond. He felt kind of silly, like a teen, but giddy like one too. In his academy years, he never got to walk through the monastery holding someone’s hand, and he had always felt slightly jealous of those couples who did so. It felt like such a small but important thing in a budding love - getting to walk around, essentially saying “this one, I love this person and they love me” - something warm and sweet. He had never felt he was worthy of those thoughts or those feelings - that he didn’t deserve to be loved, to be loved back, or to show the world.

He still felt that way, even more so sometimes because of the ferocity of Byleth’s affections. Not only was her love kind and soothing, smoothing his hair out of his eyes or removing his armor for him at the end of a long battle - but it also was ravenous in the way she challenged him, the way she would pull him from the ease of wallowing, the way she would hold his fists in hers if it seemed that he was going to punch simply to hurt himself. She was the incarnation of all that was wise and sweet in this world, the personification of fire, the thunder from a cloud. Her face was the world and her eyes were the oceans and her smile was the light-house. 

This sort of love was uncharted to him. 

He had courted a couple women during his time at the Officer’s Academy, because Sylvain had encouraged him to. He had always discouraged encounters by sunlight, citing that a man of his position couldn’t be seen in public with a partner until it could be made official. 

Of course, that wasn’t necessarily true. Each of the women were just distractions - in fact - sometimes he still felt ashamed by the way he had used them, even though by all measures he had treated them fairly. They had no idea that he wasn’t in it the same way they were. Even so, in the end, they had all broken it off with him - none of them wanted to date the heir to the throne if they couldn’t show the world that they were dating the heir to the throne. He almost felt like Sylvain after the first two break-ups - jaded. 

The first woman he had ever bedded was another student at the academy. She was about Byleth’s height, and had the same dark blue hair that his professor had before she had literally merged with Sothis. Dimitri couldn’t remember her name anymore (well, maybe he could, though he felt less self-destructive when he couldn’t), but also remembered how Sylvain joked with him that maybe he found the Professor so hot because she reminded him of his first lay. What he had omitted from his friend was that it was entirely the opposite. 

Byleth had mentioned to him that she had slept with a fair handful of people during her time as a mercenary, men and women, but it had never been something _intimate_ \- usually, to her, it was glorified masturbation. She had admitted that sex with him was the first time she had ever had sex with feelings attached (”hell, I’m not sure I even knew _how_ to feel for the longest time”), and she had also admitted that even if there were no feelings, he was still the best that she had bedded. 

That, of course, made his ego soar. He already had admitted to himself that he had a bit of a complex anyway when it came to the bedroom. He had joked with himself often about that - monster in the sheets, monster in the streets, and even so, he was weak in the face of a woman who had not come yet. 

Even at his most feral, he would pin the sex workers he had hired to the bed by their wrists, and use his hands and mouth on them until they were trembling under him. He always felt obligated to make sure that every person he had slept with, even those who were just for a night, were able to come, even if he didn’t, and even if he was the one who paid for the time with them. 

_I don’t think I have ever felt that I deserve to be taken care of. Whether in or out of bed, all my happiness should come from making others happy. To be weak, to have someone go out of their way for me - I cannot accept that. It is not fair, and I should not allow it. As a man, as someone who must repent - but also as a king who must put others first._

But was something a little extra, a little different, about _Byleth_ in his bed. Her noises, the way she clenched around him, her eagerness and her want - he had never really considered the level of lust he had felt until she had made him feel it. Both when he felt more like a beast than a man, and vice versa - his control and his pleasure were so acutely fixated on her, on making her come, on hearing her make pretty and happy sounds. It felt like true happiness, to him. Not just happiness he had fabricated through his own self-loathing and guilt. 

“What are you thinking about?” Byleth stopped in their tracks and turned to face him. 

“You.” He wasn’t lying, necessarily. He took her hand and kissed her, just in front of the greenhouse, moving his hand dangerously low down her back. The sun was starting to lower, a glowing golden-orange light hitting the side of her face. Goddess. How could a woman have both the soul and body of the one that stood in front of him? How could such a woman love a man such as him, a man who called to hunt humans like beasts, a man who spilled blood without thought, a monster so _depraved_ that-

“Oh, come now, Dima. You’re just saying that to get a smile out of me.” She pulled a flower out of the ground and shoved it into his nose, grinning. “Well, it worked. Here, have some romance.”

He felt a gentle smile crawl up to his lips, and so he took the flower from her, tucking it behind his ear. 

\- - -

“Fort Merceus next, huh?” Sylvain leaned back against a wall in the Knights’ Hall, stretching his legs out after a long training session. 

Dimitri nodded. “We will finally have our decisive battle with the Empire this month.” He grabbed the training lance that Sylvain tossed his way and put it back with the other training weapons. 

“The eastern lords are in the process of consolidating all of the troops within the entire Kingdom.” Gilbert wiped his brow with a towel. “In addition, ever since Arianrhod’s liberation, the western lords have been declaring their fealty one after another.”

“Affairs within the Kingdom have calmed down considerably, and we even managed to win over the Alliance.” Ashe’s eyes sparkled with optimism. 

Annette pumped a fist in the air. “Although it was a rough go at first, I’m starting to feel like we could actually win this!” 

“That’s true! Thinking back on it now, we’ve really come a long way.” Mercedes smiled sweetly as Ashe slipped an arm around her waist. 

Even Seteth was in a solid mood. “We even have a lead as to where Rhea is located. It is as we predicted all along. If we are to rescue Rhea, then we must defeat the emperor…”

“Hold on.” Ashe held up a hand thoughtfully. “If we’re going to march from the monastery to Enbarr, then we’ll have to cross the Great Bridge of Myrddin again, right?”

Dimitri nodded. “Yes, I believe so. As we have gained the Alliance’s support, we should not have any trouble this time. After the bridge, we can cross Gronder field and head south. And then we’ll take Merceus, the so-called impregnable fortress that towers on the other side.”

The group discussed the rest of the information they had at their disposal. Gilbert mentioned that the spies had reported a large-scale military force had entered Merceus. Byleth seemed a little nervous about their chances of success, but Dimitri reminded her that it was best that they approached the situation head-on. This was their way of getting to Enbarr. To achieving their goal, even if they had to fight the Death Knight again along the way. 

\- - -

“From this point forward, we’re in all-out war with the Empire. Are you prepared, Byleth?”

She had sought out Dimitri, who was standing pensively on the second floor, staring at nothing in particular. 

“I am.” She placed her palm flat on his chest. 

“I am glad to hear it. That means we can approach the coming battles with peace of mind.” _How strange is it to love the woman who means life or death for our army. The mastermind, the heart of our fight. My right hand, from the beginning._ He placed his hand on top of hers. “First we capture Fort Merceus. The fighting will undoubtedly be brutal…but we must prevail. As far as this army and I are concerned, you’re our last ray of hope. We are relying on you.” He thought for a moment, before adding on. “And I am so glad you are here, Byleth. I mean that selfishly. I may have strength, but you, entirely, are the brains of this operation. And…”

“And?” She got up on her tiptoes, making it easy to press her lips to his in the solitude of the room. 

“And…I want to make it through this battle. I want to make it through this war. There is something I must ask you, Byleth, when this is all over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr @ preetsposting :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and Dimitri, both a little stir-crazy, think up a way to solve a demonic beast problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait and the short chapter! I'll make up for it with the next one. :) And yes...this is leading up to a bit of "fake-married so we can stay in the same room at an inn" nonsense in the next chapter.

“We defeated Lord Arundel. The emperor must have been surprised.” Felix mused. “If we can keep up that fervor, perhaps we’ll capture Fort Merceus, and move on to the Imperial capital. We must not be overconfident though.” 

Byleth nodded. “Let’s proceed with caution.”

“I concur. Humans and beasts are ultimately the same. When they’re cornered, they lash out however they can. They fight for their lives. Who knows how the emperor will lash out? We have to be careful.” Felix shot a knowing look, slightly derisive, at Dimitri. 

The king gave a small noise of agreement as the inky-haired warrior left to the training grounds. “You know, he’s not entirely right.” He bit at his lower lip, pondering something. 

“Yeah?” Byleth wrapped an arm around his waist. “What do you mean?”

“When I was cornered, I lashed out, yes, but with no regard for my own life. It’s not necessarily that I was fighting for the lives of others - well, maybe in a twisted way, I was - but, I think…I think Edelgard will be the same. When we corner her, she will lash out, and maybe not with her own life in mind. She did this all for her ideals. And I think she _is_ willing to lay down her life for them.”

\- - -

Rout some bandits, defeat some beasts, fend off pirates - as they did most months, the Kingdom’s army got a handful of requests for aid from various regions. 

Dimitri thumbed through the letters that had come in the last two mornings - they had already sent several battalions off into the land, but the requests came in faster than they were able to get the forces in and out. “If the troops we sent to the Throat get back tonight, and that is an _if_ , we should be able to give them a day or so of reprieve before we send them out to the Goneril lands. Holst should be able to still lead a slightly battered group of reinforcements fine.”

“Sure. But what about the reports of Demonic Beasts out in the plains? The only groups we have that can take on that mess won’t be back for another couple days, and by then, who knows how much damage will have been done?” Byleth bit at the end of a broken quill, one of the hundreds of snapped writing utensils that Dimitri had destroyed over the last couple weeks. 

Dimitri sighed deeply. “At this point, I think we should just go deal with it. It’ll be easy work.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying for weeks. But you know everyone will have our heads.” Byleth dropped the quill-end to the ground, watching it sway back and forth slowly as it floated. “ _We can’t risk something happening to you to if we can prevent it_ , they’d say. And we’d say that we can take care of it, easily, and it’s a good way to keep us from getting rusty in battle. And they’d say _that’s what the training grounds are for,_ , and we’d say _but we can’t fight demonic beasts in the training grounds_ , then Sylvain will quip that Felix is close enough, then they’d start bickering and then…” She trailed off. “I’m going to say it, though. We could take on a horde of beasts, just the two of us. Easy.”

“Romantic dates to take your lady-love on.” Dimitri chuckled. “Beast slaying. I love it. How uniquely us. Felix and Ingrid would have our heads for not taking them with us, though. I’d bet Sylvain’s finest whiskey on it.”

“If we take some Pegasi and leave within the hour, we could be back by tomorrow evening, with no one more or less the wiser.” Byleth mused. “We can find an inn, tonight. It won’t be too strange if we’re not seen till dinner tomorrow. We _have_ been known to not be seen for a day or two, sometimes. And it’s just past sunset. It’s unlikely many others will be about if we make our way to the stables. ”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Dimitri looked at her, head tilted, smile playing across his lips. “You’ve gone a little mad, Byleth. I think I like it.” 

She leaned over and planted a kiss on his nose. “What else is a woman supposed to do between battle, besides go mad? Besides. It sounds nice to fight side-by-side, just the two of us.”

Dimitri took a sip of the steaming mug of tea in front of him. “Alright.”

Byleth’s expression was incredulous. “ _You’re_ serious?”

“I thought you were, too.” He raised an eyebrow. “We can’t let these beasts continue to roam. We’ll get scolded, sure, but…there aren’t any real repercussions, are there?” He shrugged. “I’m the king, you’re my adviser.”

Byleth considered his words. “I can’t believe we’re going to do this.”

Dimitri laughed and pulled her up to her feet. She was smiling, a bit of a silly smirk on her face. Her eyes shone, his favorite thing - sun on the sea. “Don't worry, Byleth. I can.” He grinned with a crazy boy-ish excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr @ preetsposting :) I will take your requests and suggestions!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and Dimitri steal some Pegasi and fly towards the Tailtean plains, overrun by demonic beasts. They stop overnight at an inn, where Dimitri has something for Byleth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll wrap up the smut next chapter! I just thought the angst was a solid place to end.

In the light of the moon, two giggling figures huddled together under a single fluffy cloak as they walked to the Garreg Mach Monastery pegasus stables. 

“Shh. Shh. Here, for you.” Byleth held an apple out to a wide-eyed pegasus. She had flown with this one, Buttercup, before. Buttercup took a tentative sniff at Byleth’s hand, then scarfed down the apple contentedly. Byleth ran her fingers through her mane. 

Dimitri was having fairly decent luck, too. He didn’t have a favorite pegasus like Byleth did, but he had done his fair share of stable duty, enough to understand the temperaments of the different steeds a little. He quietly approached a pitch-black stallion with wide wings, whispering to him as he too offered a snack. 

It didn’t take too long for them to gain the trust of the creatures - pegasi were fairly trusting, after all - and they did their damned best to be off as silently as possible, not even whispering a word until they had rocketed into the sky towards the Tailtean plains, just outside of Fhirdiad. 

In Dimitri’s quarters, they had pinpointed an inn that was just off the route they would have to take to where the Demonic Beasts were reported to be. It would just be a couple hours of flying tonight, then a handful more the next morning. 

\- - -

The feeling of the wind rushing around her, through her hair, and ruffling her cloak was exhilarating to Byleth - it was freeing, it made her feel giddy and excited and nervous all at once. The fact that they weren’t “supposed” to be out here made it better - it always felt good to have a bit of a secret, especially when you normally weren’t very rebellious. _And that I can take the King with me, like we’re two kids running off in secret in the middle of the day to have a picnic._

She looked over her shoulder at Dimitri, who guided his pegasus easily. He stared with wonder down at the lands below. _How can such a strong, stern, man be so cute, sometimes? So soft?_

“Byleth, I think about this a lot.” He shouted towards her, gesturing one hand at the ground below. “How there are so many people out there who live their lives, just as richly as I do. It reminds me how important it is for me to be a good King, to protect them all.”

She smiled at him in response and slowed her mount down, letting him catch up to her so they could fly side-by-side, hands almost touching. “I don’t tell you enough how thoughtful you are.” _Because you are very likely the most thoughtful person that I know._

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Byleth. Just being here, with me, that’s more than enough.” 

\- - -

It felt like mere moments had passed when they touched down to the ground, the pegasi slowing from a gallop to a trot to a standstill once they had aimed downwards at the inn they had previously sought out.

The bored stableboy that sat in front of the inn, poring over a book of some sort in the dim lighting of a torch perked up at the sound of hooves, rushing over to the pair to take the reins off of their hands. 

“Sir, ma’am! Let me help!” He had a couple teeth missing in his wide, endearing smile. 

Byleth ruffled the kid’s hair as Dimitri tossed him a gold coin - pondered for a second - then tossed him a second one for good measure. “Thanks. We appreciate it.”

His face was pure awe as he looked between them, the horses, and the coins in his hands. “You sure about this? Sir?”

“A hundred percent.” The corners of Dimitri’s mouth twitched upwards. “All yours.”

“Yes, sir!” The kid shoved the coins in his pocket and saluted, excitedly drawing the horses towards the inn’s stables. 

“Now, no one’s here.” Dimitri cocked his head to the side and pulled Byleth in for a kiss. 

She kissed him back briefly then tried to draw away, but he held her firmly in his arms. “Dima, we gotta go in.”

“One second.” He kissed her again this time, somehow even deeper, then let her go so he could rummage through one of the many pockets on his cloak. “It’s got to be here, somewhere.”

Byleth waited patiently, tapping her feet as he searched for whatever it was. 

“Ah. Here.” 

Dimitri held something in his palm. She leaned closer to take a look, and saw a beautiful ring of silver, inlaid with a large, shining green gemstone. There were delicate patterns and inlays she could not define in the darkness. 

“What’s it for?” She ran her finger around the circumference of it. “It’s beautiful.”

“You know how some inns often reserve the most comfortable rooms for married couples?”

“Yes?”

“Tonight, Byleth, we are Mr. And Mrs. Eisner. No one will be the wiser.” He smiled radiantly and took her left hand in his, sliding the ring onto her finger. “If we are going to have a secret outing full of secrets, let’s do it right.” _I do not know if it will ever come to be, but let us pretend, just for one night._

The weight of the ring was pleasant on her hand as she held it up closer to her face to examine it. It felt almost natural. She wasn’t sure if the thought of that scared or excited her. _Mrs. Eisner, huh?_

Dimitri took her hand in his gently and led her towards the entrance to the inn. “Come. There is a room awaiting us.”

\- - -

The innkeeper was a charming and plump middle-aged woman, all smiles as the bell in the entryway signaled new visitors. “Hello hello, dearies! To what do I owe the pleasure?” She leaned over the front desk and beckoned them inwards. 

“Hello, ma’am.” Dimitri’s gruff voice could be downright charming when he tried, Byleth noted. “We’re looking for a room for the night. Travelling up to Fhirdiad to see my parents.” 

“Well, well, you must love them quite a bit to travel all this way during the war.” She winked. “Things have been much calmer now though, minus smatterings of beasts here and there. You must have heard - the King is back, you see! Our hope, our boy.” She beamed. “I assume you’ve seen your share of fighting though, considering your eye. Are you two young’ns in the King’s army?”

Byleth nodded. “Yes. We never gave up hope.” She squeezed Dimitri’s hand and smiled upwards at him. 

“Brave ones, I reckon.” She nodded sagely. “Now, who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?” 

“Mr. And Mrs. Eisner.” Byleth offered, meddling conspicuously with the ring on her finger. The words flowed off her tongue easily. They sounded beautiful to her ears. 

“Married young, I see.” She clucked approvingly, bustling about for a key. “Now, here you go. Third floor, second room on the left. We reserve that floor for married couples. You lot can get a little loud.” She winked and chuckled knowingly. “Now, is there anything else I can do for you? Food, ale, water? We can bring it up to the room, of course. You probably want some time…together after a long journey. I remember how it was when my husband and I would travel.” 

Dimitri gave her a grin and a short bow. “We thank you. Dinner and ale would be lovely. And up to the room, if that’s okay.”

“Of course. The rate is 150 for the night.” 

Dimitri pulled out his coin-purse and counted out enough gold, plus some. “Two hundred, then, for your kindness. And an extra meal for the stableboy, he seemed a little hungry.” 

“Alek is always hungry.” She mumbled good-naturedly, counting out the coins into a lockbox, trying poorly to hide her expression of surprise and gratitude. “Well then. You two lovebirds get going. We’ll bring you a meal and a bit of a treat.” She winked. 

\- - -

They got up to the room the innkeeper had assigned them, barely able to wait for the knock on the door signaling dinner before attaching to each other like magnets, lips crushing lips and hands running over cloth and skin in fiery bursts of released impatience. 

Dimitri tried to put his words into the way he bit at her lips and pulled at her waist. He ran his fingertips across her face and her neck, tracing her collarbone and over her breasts. He placed his mouth to her earlobe, tugging at it with his teeth, breathing warm air onto her as he growled hungrily and pulled her as close as he possibly could. 

_Byleth. Byleth, I need you like I need air. I’ve needed you for years, and years, and I feel like only recently have I learned to breathe again. I see your face and your eyes and your smile and I hear your voice and watch you move and over and over again, I’m a boy, falling in love for the first time. No one gets it, no one has ever tried to understand like you do. No one trusts me like you do, trusts me to be honest, trusts me to be brave, trusts me to trust them like you do. The way you tell me you believe in me, when I don’t believe in myself. The way your hands look with my ring on them._

He ran his hands down past her hips and grabbed both her hands, lacing them into his. He pulled them around him, placing them as close to the small of his back as he could, before reaching back to grab her ass, squeezing gently as he pushed her against the door of the room. He fed on her moans, locking his lips to hers as if they were the last supply of life he would ever have. He felt desperate as he all but crushed her in his arms, her warmth, her love, the noises she made, the way she moved just for him. 

_I am so scared that I will lose you, when this is all over. That you can’t or won’t be the wife of a king. That I will keep you from your duty, that I will keep you from yourself and the others you love. So if I can’t have our wedding night, if I can’t have you with this ring on your finger when this is all over, I want to have today, I want to have right now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me at preetsposting.tumblr.com :)


End file.
